Ah Zim and Dib Romance
by ShamenKing
Summary: Rated M, for hot alien sex
1. The Prolouge

**Ah Zim and Dib Romance**

By: ShamenKing

**Rating: **M for Mature

**Warnings:** It's gay, seriously

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything IZ related, except the story line

**Prologue**

Dib snickered gleefully. Zim had apparently gotten sloppy in protecting his base from 'intruders'. He moved and ran a hand up the vent that seemed to run deep underground. It was hooked into the alien's house, just by the back right corner of it to be specific. With a switch of his wrist, he pulled a screwdriver out from the hidden pockets of his trench coat. Taking a deep breath, and holding it, he carefully checked to see if the alien used the right type of screws. Exhale. That idiot DID. They looked odd, but they were compatible with the 'wimpy earth screwdriver'.

"Jeez Zim…" he muttered, his smirk in place, "You ARE getting sloppy, aren't you?"

No one answered, but that's what he had expected. Usually when you talk to yourself, no one talks back. That's why its so fun. He finished with the last screw and tried his swing at pulling off the lid. It was a no go. He pulled again, with all of his inferior human might. Nope.

"HIIII, Big-Headed Boy!"

The boy jumped and dropped his precious screwdriver down the vent. He pouted and mumbled, "I liked that one…" He sighed and turned, twisting his face into a grimace. GIR… Wait. GIR!!

He swiveled around, now sitting on his knees. With a bright and cheery smile he picked the robot in a dog costume up into his arms.

"GIR, am I glad to see you." he said slyly, chanting, "Play it cool, play it cool…" in his head.

GIR squealed in response, seemingly happy to be wanted around.

Dib bit his lip and tried his best to look worried, then said, "Well, GIR… I need help. You see this vent lid?" he paused and waited, GIR nodded 'yes' and he went on, "Well, I was going to help Zim out, ya see. I was going to…er, clean out this vent. But I can't get the vent open. Zim will be so disappointed." He paused to give the robot a pitiful look, "Think you could help me? Zim 'll pleased."

"Masteh? Pleased?" GIR asked excitedly.

Dib nodded, trying to hide his ecstatic look. GIR WAS stupid.

GIR took a minute to think. And another. And another and another until… "OKAAAAYYYY!!!"

He hopped from the human's arms and took each side of the vent in his little doggy paws. The vent groaned and creaked, trying to keep a hold of its lid. But it was no use. GIR squeaked as it popped off and slipped from his paws. It hit Dib on the side of the head and the boy fell over, his mouth drooling.

The robot turned and touched his chin in slight concern. A noise in the house distracted him, it went 'DING'. He panicked, looking to the Dib, then to the house. Then suddenly screamed in frustration. And decided that what happened in the house was more important than the well being of his owner's enemy.

"AAAAAAHHHHH! CUP CAKES!"

Just a little while later, Dib stirred and sat up, wiping his mouth free of dirt and spit. By the look of the sun it seemed that it was still very early morning. Maybe…three…four o' clock. Whatever, he moved and started towards the now open mouthed vent. He looked down into the depths of it. Uww, it looked deep. Really, really, really deep. He bit his lip and began to reconsider his act of stupidity. But then again…his had messed with his new glasses. It could take pictures, so maybe Zim wouldn't try to crush them. But then again…

He shook his head. Made up his mind and by God he would act on it! Dib stuck his legs out and put each one in slowly, savoring the time he had left on the surface. He swallowed thickly. Maybe…he tapped his chin. Then screamed a blood- curdling scream. He was already falling, and he whined as he heard GIR's maniacal laughter follow him down. Why that stupid-- he thought before he hit the bottom with a sickening thud.

"Ow-how-how…" he whined, trying to keep quiet at the same time.

Dib felt his eyes well up with tears from the pain, but he had felt worse. He fumbled around for his missing screwdriver, and gave up quickly. Feeling like a risk taker, he kicked at the vent cover. It didn't budge. He kicked it again, and he left quite a noticeable dent. Again, he kicked it and it flipped off and into the darkened room. Dib suddenly felt the suffocating darkness press into him and he mumbled, "Nerve, nerve, nerve…"

Something skittered across the floor and landed at his feet. The vent cover. He looked up. Two red gleaming orbs glared at him. A trap? Dib shakily stood up, and tried to be quiet as he moved to the side of the orbs. Maybe Zim wouldn't be able to see him in the dark? Unlikely, but the orbs weren't following. He felt himself well up with power, and he charged, jumping onto the alien. But what he had knocked to the ground wasn't soft or anything like a body. It was more…metallic.

He narrowed his eyes, it wasn't GIR either. Dib felt the hair on the base of his neck stand up. Something was behind him. And he was sure he knew who it was.

"Dib Stink…" he growled into the boy's ear.

Dib tried to let his fear show, but it was hard. "Zi -- Alien Scum…?" he whispered. It was confirmed. He swirled around and kicked out his foot, feeling the alien jump over it. Zim tried to move and land ontop of the boy, but Dib quickly rolled to the side. They jumped to their feet. Their breathing was in sync, both trying futily to calm their nerves. It wasn't working.

Zim launched himself at Dib in the dark, but missed again. He growled and snapped his fingers. In seconds the room was lit up with bright, florescent lights. Dib squinted while Zim's ocular implants adjusted quickly. He smirked as he watched Dib fumble a bit before his eyes adjusted too. The human narrowed his honey eyes and he frowned. Zim narrowed his in turn and growled heatedly.

They jumped each other. Zim attacked Dib with a kick, Dib attacked Zim with a punch. Both attacks hit their targets. The two gasped in unison, both seemingly pained and strained. Zim touched his stomach, and Dib grabbed at his jaw. Again, they attacked each other, this time they actually got into a big fight. Zim scratched Dib's chest with his claws, taking away half of the boy's favorite shirt.

Punching, kicking, hitting, hair/antennae pulling, clawing, biting and growling was all that emitted from them both. Both let out pained gasps or shuddery breaths with every hit. They finally rolled away from each other and stood up. Dib backed off a bit, just in front of a wall. Zim watched him, then ejected his spider legs. He towered over the human and used the robotic legs to quickly stand in front of the poor boy.

Zim frowned and narrowed his eyes. He brought his hand forward, and snapped the lenses to Dib's glasses in half. They stared at each other for a second before Zim brought his fist back.


	2. Chapter 1

-1**Chapter one**

A black gloved fist connected with a boney jaw and Dib felt his world fade, he was forced a couple of steps back, yet stayed standing. He forced his honey glazed eyes to stay open and hesitantly opened his bloody mouth to speak.

"Is- is that all you gah- got, Space Boy?" he taunted with the usual cockiness, wiping a drop of blood from his bitterly smirking mouth.

Zim growled and stuck his arms up in an odd fighting pose, one probably from his little Irken Academy, and snorted "You look like shit, Dib Stink. Don't you think it's time for you to turn tail and run away like the whimpering, pathetic human you are?"

Dib's vision became blurry; Zim had broken his new glasses. With a grunt he cast them away from his being and narrowed his eyes, not in anger but, in a failed attempt to try sort everything out. All he was able to make out was a green and crimson blur, everything ran together. "Neh- no way, alien scum. I-I'll never suh- submit to…to you!" he grunted with much difficulty, the pain in his stomach was edging on unbearable. But he couldn't run away. Not again…

Zim simply grinned and threw a punch at Dib's abdomen, sending him to his knees. He coughed harshly and spat up blood. Dib's eyes watered and he brushed a thin arm across his face to wipe away the blood and the slight chance of tears. Zim's lithe body loomed over him, eager to have a height difference over the defenseless human. After all height was might, right? With an ironic smirk he kicked Dib in the ribs without warning and his head connected with the cold metallic floor with a sickening 'thud!' Dib groaned and let out a shaking sob. His thin, slender body shook from the pain. He was on the edge, he felt as if he'd fall over it any minute now.

"How about now, Human? Had enough of the _MIGHTY ZIM_?" he screeched, lightly clawing the air in his excitement.

Dib grunted and sat up with effort. When he talked he wheezed slightly. "Mighty how…? And I'll neh-… never let… let you have err- earth. Never…" his voice was breathy, and thick with pain.

Zim stopped for a moment and looked thoughtful. His face looked conflicted with hate and concern, although if you asked him, he'd deny it on the spot.

"But…why risk your life for meat bags that don't care about you. You could die here and no one would notice. Not your sister, nor your parental unit.

Why, Dib-Stink? Tell meeee!" his voice was an angry shout and when Dib looked close enough, he swore he saw a slight concern in his face. But he highly doubted it, probably just his messed up vision right now.

Dib's mouth opened, but just to close again and he glanced at anything but the body looming over him. As if he could find the answer anywhere but there.

He snorted and chuckled, wincing when excruciating pain hit him hard. "I…I don't know the answer to that…but…if I _was_ to submit to you, Zim, what would you make of me?"

Zim's blood red orbs took on a sly light and he clacked his serpentine like tongue against the roof of his mouth. "You would be my slave, of course. Cook, clean, helps me with world domination and some odd jobs..." he rattled off on his claws.

For once, Dib had nothing to say. No snappy comeback, nothing. It was kind of a bummer. His eyes glazed over and he lowered his head.

"Then…I wo- would be…ah- a traitor. Wouldn't I be, Space Boy?"

"I suppose you would be, wouldn't you? From what I see, it wouldn't matter in the least. They treat you much too horribly, I _must_ admit." he commented, tapping a gloved claw against his chin.

Dib's eyes widened from shock. Zim was exactly right! No one _did_ care, and he had realized it before. Soon afterwards he tried to swallow a harmful amount of pills, but his father had gotten him to the hospital in the nick of time. Soon after that, his father sent him to the 'Crazy House for Boys'. Of course, he had soon escaped, but the memory of that day was still fresh in his mind. He barely got any sleep knowing that no one cared…so he pushed the thought from his mind; banished himself from thinking like that and convinced himself that people did care. Yet, the memory still lurked in his subconscious.

"God…Zim. You…how could I have _not_ missed it? It's not like it wasn't obvious, you know!" he yelled, his voice raspy from the pain in his lower abdomen and he clutched it hard, trying futilely to ease the pain. "I _did_ know, Space Boy, I really did. I did my best to ignore it, but now hearing someone actually say it, especially you, makes it that much more…I dunno, final."

"Then submit to ZIM! You can get back at them; punish them for their, err, wrong doings! Like…with…horrible robot weasels! With lasers! And a tank or…or more! Maybe…even making your parental unit pay for his…offenses in the past, hmm? Or that _scary_ sister of yours, I always did hate her…" he said inching his lithe and flexible body closer to the others, until he was on his knees, close to Dib's face, grinning maniacally.

Dib had winced at the shout in his ear, but he had perked up at the thought of harming the sister that hated everything, especially him, and a 'father' that never had time for them, even called him 'his poor insane son' time and time again. "Ah…Alright…" he smirked wryly, and then said harshly "Killing off the people I had once wanted to save." With a snort he said "Maybe I _have_ gone insane."

Zim had jerked back a bit from the choice of tone in the boy's voice. He had never heard that tone come from the easily excited and eager young boy. He narrowed one eye and said "You submit to Zim?" he scoffed "That was pretty easy, just break your spirit and body…pssh, anyway. But how can I be sure you're _loyal _to Zim?"


	3. Chapter 2

-1Dib looked up but immediately regretted it, he felt horrible. He wiggled his jaw around, it felt fractured.

He opened his mouth and grunted "I…guess that you can't be sure." he contemplated on how to show his loyalty, and he just sighed. Zim was still leaning so close to him; Dib could feel Zim's hot breath on his face, although he wasn't focused on the boy at the moment. With a grunt of frustration he reached up, eyes closed tightly, and closed the gap between them.

Zim's eyes widened, to shocked to pull away for a moment before he sputtered and shouted "What was that?!" he grimaced and rubbed a tattered sleeve against his face.

Dib's blurry eyes widened at the same time Zim had pulled away. "Um…it was to show you that…err, I'm loyal t-to you." he stuttered, trying to save him self.

Zim rubbed a thoughtful hand on his chin. "Is that how you show loyalty? Very well, but I'll keep a close eye on yooouuu…" he said, his voice dripping with paranoid suspicion.

"Oh! And by the way, you were _always_ insane, Dib stink." Zim snorted and roughly picked up Dib whom gave a small squeak from the sudden movement and his hands flew over his stomach and cringed. Zim hid his surprise; the Dib was so light, maybe a little to light…like the human hadn't eaten in days.

"Do you eat _healthily_, Human? I don't want you to die on me from malnutrition right after you finally submitted to Me." he grunted, trying not to show concern for the boy.

"Oh… well. Uh, dad's never usually home, and when there's no food in the kitchen Gaz just goes out to Bloaty's. I sometimes just go to MacMeaties and get a burger and poop cola. Sometimes…" he managed to get out; the pain was intensified when Zim had moved him. But it…was oddly comforting for Zim to hold him like this. He sighed and nuzzled his face into Zim's sensitive throat without a second thought. Zim squeaked from the sudden intimate touch but let it slide. Blaming it on the fact the kid was beaten almost senseless.

Zim clacked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, a nervous habit he never tried to quit. Dib bit his lip, his own nervous habit. They had no idea what to do next. Try to rule the world of course, but how? There're many different ways to go about this. They could start a huge world war, then hit when they were the weakest, like afterwards. Whoever lost would be first because they would have lost many resources and people. Yet, they could also just hit the weak spot in humanity. But they would have to find it first; it would most likely be a disease of some sort. Zim cackled at the thought, making the weary Dib squeak in surprise and snap at him.


	4. Chapter 3

-1They reached the little elevator and Zim stepped inside with a disgruntled Dib in his arms.

"I'll have you know, I can't do anything for you if I don't have my glasses." Dib sighed and rubbed his eyes angrily, trying futilely to make his vision less blurry.

"I see…" Zim murmured "Hum, interesting…"

Dib frowned and looked up to where he thought Zim's face was the big crimson blur. He crossed his arms across his thin chest "Did you hear me? ZIM!"

"Awhuh…?" he asked dazedly, snapping out of his train of thought "What'd I hear now?"

Scowling Dib glanced away and bit his lip. "I SAID, 'I can't do anything for you without my glasses.' I need those to see and _you_ broke them, so I hope you know you're going to replace them."

"Those eye shields? Need to see?" Zim frowned "What's their basic design? I can _probably _make you a new pair…" then noticed they weren't moving up "Computer! West wing, medical center."

"Huh? Whah...?" Computer yawned. "Whatever it was, GIR did it…"

Dib chuckled and Zim frowned.

"COMPUTER! WEST WING, MEDICAL CENTER!" Zim practically hissed.

"Yes, Sir…" it said tiredly "Going up!"

Dib smiled at the little conversation Master and Machine had together, he never knew anything machine like could be so human-like. Then shook his head, his scythe hair waving slightly.

"Well, Zim, I'll need to tell you my prescription, you _do_ know what I mean by that right?" he asked.

"If by which you mean a lens of particular type and strength to correct one's sight, I do!" Zim snorted; seemingly appalled at the thought that he wouldn't know something. "Zim knows all." he added for reassurance, if not for Dib, then for his self.

Dib just grunted in response and yawned, even though he was clearly in a lot of pain, he tried not to look like it. If he did, Zim would have won at knowing he had hurt Dib in the littlest sense. He squeaked when the elevator stopped sharply, and he heard Zim practically giggle from Dib's discomfort. Dib bit his lip and looked away, glaring at nothing in particular. He really hated it when Zim laughed at him when he was in horrible pain, but, for now, there was nothing he could do nothing about it.

Zim stepped out of the small elevator, Dib in arms. By the time they had made to the floor where the medical supplies were located, Dib was still awake, but groggily so. Zim's blood-red orbs glanced down to the thin bundle in his bruised arms. Something about Dib in his arms like this made him feel…a little…content. Against his will, he smiled almost comfortingly down to the battered human. Dib saw this, but didn't think anything of it, thinking maybe he was sleeping or something. He smiled back up to Zim almost happily, content, that Zim almost faltered his own. He continued to walk towards one of the small medical cots and laid Dib down on the one closest to him.

Dib made a slight whine when the warmth from Zim left him only to be replaced by on a cold hard mattress. Zim frowned at the sound the human had made and disappeared behind a sliding red-glass door. A minute later Zim returned with a fluffy blood-red comforter, and he heard the Dib breathing evenly, a sure sign he was asleep. With an oddly placid face he wrapped Dib up in the blanket, being mindful of the boy's injuries. With a sigh Zim stood up straight and grabbed one of the machines that held the medicine for wounds and the morphine from when the kids thought it was fun to beat up on the weird green kid. He led the machine over to Dib by the thin wire-like tubes and set the machine to drop at the right speed to be absorbed into Dib's blood stream. When Zim poked Dib with the needle that dripped the morphine he saw the boy flinch in his sleep and he bit his lip, hopeful that the Dib wouldn't wake up. He didn't, just shifted slightly.

Zim sighed and dragged out the gauze wraps from the drawer in the machine. He turned around with the gauze in hand and stood next to Dib's side, suddenly regretting ever had hurting the taller male that badly. Pushing all emotion out of his head at the moment, he gently pulled the covers back from the male. He then undressed the male, only the torso of course. With a sad smile he observed the wounds he himself had inflicted. There was one long scratch from his chest to his hip and many other smaller, yet pretty deep, scratches that littered his body. Along with the fresh ones, old white scars were livid against the male's pale skin. Zim then began to apply the medicine over the bloody wounds and wrapped them with a kind of graceful care, never even once waking the boy. Once that was done he stepped back to admire his work and noticed that the male had one scratch on his face, it wasn't very deep but it went from his nose to the middle of the cheek. He then dabbed a little medicine onto it and placed a red band-aid with a black Irken armada symbol over the small injury, with that he smirked and yawned.


	5. Chapter 4

Okay, I have a problem for later chapters, ya know when they start to kill everyone… Is there anyone who likes Gaz enough to spare her from a gut wrenching death? Anyone?

And sorry Membrane fans (if there are _any_...), he's gonna die! Or be a play toy for GIR and MiniMoose. Whatever. It wont matter, because it'll be a horrible fate whatever I choose. I just don't like Membrane for some reason. I _might_ spare him if anyone gives me a good enough reason to.

Although…I _WOULD_ read a fanfic where it's ZaMr (Zim and Membrane romance). Hint, hint. Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge.

---

He just sat down on his knees next to the teenage human. With a yawn he put his head where he was sure the human wouldn't feel pain, near his hip, and fell asleep. As always he started to dream of ruling the world. But this time, Dib was right there next to him…laughing just as evilly and hatefully as himself.

Hours later Dib groaned and slowly opened his eyes, noticing that the bright florescent lights had been turned down to a dim setting. Probably the Computer's sign of sleep mode, he reasoned. Almost at once he noticed that Zim was kneeling next to him and that his head was near Dib's hip, facing him. Without meaning to, he smirked. But that soon turned into a soft smile when he saw the bandages that were wrapped quite snuggly around his torso, looping over a shoulder. Deciding it'd be better that he didn't wake the short alien up; he closed his eyes and rested. Suddenly a loud banging was heard from top side, like pans hitting pans with some metallic childish squealing accompanied with some happy squeaking.

Dib shot up with a loud moan, making Zim's head roll down onto the boy's lap and he thought, _'I forgot all about GIR!'_ he bit his lip and glanced t down to Zim, his face contorting into a look of disbelief. Zim was still sleeping soundly, his breath even and slow.

"Crap…" he muttered and plugged his ears in an attempt to block out the annoying sound.

Zim's antennae twitched involuntarily and he cracked open a blood-red orb, using it to glare groggily at the boy. He then lifted his head from Dib's lap and sighed, gaining the Dib's attention.

"Oh, so _now_ you're awake." Dib said loudly, quite annoyed with the alien.

"What _is_ that racket?" Zim practically had to yell over the annoying clanging and giggling coming from the surface.

"I think its GIR and MiniMoose!" Dib yelled back.

Zim pulled at his antennae, "Aaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh! That GIR! MiniMoose was supposed to be a POSITIVE influence!!!" He screeched and scrambled to the elevator, hurriedly telling the Computer where he wanted to go. That woke the Computer from sleep mode and turned the bright lights up to turn back up, causing them to squint.

Dib then watched as Zim was lifted to the top floor and heard him run to the front room. He chuckled as he heard Zim yelling at GIR and MiniMoose, who in turn stopped the racket they were making and heard the two make a sound of objection, which was quickly interrupted with more yelling from Zim. With a sigh of relief he heard Zim return to the elevator.

The irate Irken stepped out of the elevator holding a mopey looking GIR and a rather displeased MiniMoose, who chose to trail close behind. GIR's face lifted and he jumped out of the Irken's grasp with a squeal of what can only be named as pure joy. The boy's eyes widened as GIR bounded onto his stomach and squeezed his mid section unmercifully, causing the boy to cry out in pain and clutch his stomach. Zim gasped when he saw the look of pain flash across Dib's features and the alien ran to pull the robot off the human. GIR had let go quickly when Zim told GIR he was hurting Dib. GIR, in turn, took to hugging Dib lightly and MiniMoose nudging him softly as a sign of affection.

They boy sighed happily in response to all the new found affection and cuddled them both softly. This was the most affection he had gotten since…well, since his mom…died. He shook his head roughly, no use in getting depressed now. At least, not in front of Zim so the alien can laugh at him. They gladly accepted the hug and snuggled down in his pale slender arms. Zim just gave the robots an odd look and sighed.

"Computer! Full diagnostic on the Human!" and the alien snapped his claws together.

"Yes Sir…" it said, "Processing! Processing! Complete…"

"So…" Zim asked, waving his hand in the air.

"Subject: Dib. Status: No internal bleeding indicated. A few deep scratches and medium bleeding, that should be controled by the guaze. Undernourished - 100 LBS. No brain malfunctions located. Subject deemed: Healthy, albeit a little underweight."

Zim tapped a gloved claw against his chin… "_Under_weight, eh? Only Dib can pull that off while the _rest_ of the population is _over_weight." he chuckled slightly, but stopped short.

He sighed and turned around to stare through Dib, seeing him, yet not seeing _him. _What he saw was a smeet who doesn't even know about one fourth of the world around him. He smiled dazedly when he thought _I wonder what it would be like if Irk didn't use hatcheries and instead the females gave birth…_ he suddenly shook his head free of the inane thought and watched Dib play with and coo at the two child-like robots.

"Dib-Slave!" Zim shouted, causing Dib to snap into attention. The boy gave Zim an amused grin.

"It's…Dib-SLAVE now, is it? What ever happened to Dib-Stink, Dib-Human, oh! And my personal fav: That Big-Headed Crazy Kid!" Dib sniggered.

Zim scowled and said "Do you WANT me to call you those things or will Slave do?" in a harsh tone.

Dib knitted his brow, "Geeze, touchy, touchy Zim." he waved an index finger in front of him and set it back down, " What's wrong with you?" he asked while lightly cradling GIR and petting MiniMoose. "It's not as if I know of your any _embarrassing _secrets or anything." Dib snorted, he really didn't.

"Squeeeeeaaaaak! Squeak, squeeeaaak." MiniMoose spoke up, finally. Hey, the little guy heard _embarrassing_ and _secrets_. Why not?

"Really, MiniMoose?" Dib asked, slightly shocked. He bit his lip to keep from giggling, but it slipped through anyway.

The two started to have a mini conversation. Of course, Zim didn't know that they were talking about his secrets. MiniMoose can't help it, Dib had just said he didn't know any embarrassing secrets. And Mini liked the Dib, so, he gossiped away!!

Suddenly Zim looked slightly worried, but he hardened his face to a look of what can only be described as anger. No really, there was no other way to explain it. "What?! What is it!" he demanded. He hated to be left in the dark. He'd been left in the dark to many times to count. The Tallest, Tak and these filthy HYOOMANS. _Never_ again.

Dib smirked and raised a brow, "Maid…outfit…?"

Zim glanced away. "Uh, I didn't catch that, say again?"

"Well" GIR sang, "Don'tcha 'member when I ates all yours EE-AEE-RRTH--" you can tell he picked up the pronunciation from Zim "--monies? You had ta get a job and all dat was open at da _time_ was--mmphh!" Zim clamped a hand over the tin boy's mouth.

"Eh, hehhehhehheh…" Zim chuckled nervously, then hissed to GIR, "Damn it GIR! What on _IRK _was that about!!"

GIR mumbled and pointed to MiniMoose, who completely ignored Zim's death glare. The moose just blinked and looked away.

"So, care to elaborate?"

"Not so much, no." Zim leveled the human with a dry look.

GIR wrestled his way from Zim's hand, "AWWW, c'moooooon, Master! Tell me a STORY!" a moment of silence… "MONKEYS!" and he continued to scream on in this manner.

"Fine!!!! Just shut up you defective!" he wailed. After that, there was an awkward silence. That dreaded awkward silence…Noooo!

---

Soo...maid outfit. Anyone like the idea? Just throwin' it out there, it MIGHT be a disguise. Ya know, later... I don't know, tell me if you like the idea or not. I am open to any ideas!

Any at all, just rattle some off for me, I might use 'em. And review. Please? Alright. If anyone reviews (which I hope you do.) can you put your fav. pastry down? (cakes, cookies,... brownies, ect. ect.) Don't ask. It's a secretive secret.


	6. Chapter 5

"Well…" Zim clacked his serpentine tongue against the roof of his mouth. He was never great at explaining this type of thing without embarrassing himself horribly. "As you know already, GIR ate all of my FILTHY!!" he screamed, then composed his self, "Earth monies. So I had no more to, ya know, buy things. Like paste, for one."

Dib nodded, he was listening really intently. No one ever told him about their day, and this seems like the closest thing he'll get.

"Sooo, I went looking for a filthy hyooman job. I didn't find anything that I personally had an expertise in, and there was nothing that I could really find to get a good amount of money." he stopped for a moment to gather his thoughts and his wits, "But then one of those dirty newspapers collided with my superior, and dare I say, normal sized head." he smirked when Dib snorted and frowned, the desired effect, "On it was an advertisement for a job, and it offered quite a sum! 250 a week, that's good, right?"

The boy shrugged, "More then I make." In fact, Dib didn't have a job. Being a Paranormal Investigator didn't really pay well. That's right; he was an actual licensed Swollen Eyeball member. The new trench was to die for! "Go on…"

"Oh, right…" Zim started sheepishly, but suddenly changed back into his normal confident 'I'm so better then you, so just get over it and bow.' attitude. "It was a maid job, for, ahem, women only…" he trailed off at the look Dib gave him. It was clearly saying 'Uhm, HUH?' and continued on hurriedly, "Buh- but it was so much money! And with your stupid Earth monies, I could buy so many hyooman weapons and then make them so much stronger! And I did…but during the whole thing I had to wear a stupid maid outfit. Yek, it was so…so frilly!! Once I had enough, I was so out of there!!!" Zim breathed heavily, he had made sure no one had caught wind of that and now he just told what used to be his arch rival. However, it was SUCH a relief to tell someone.

The two robots and human sat there quietly before they busted a gut laughing.

"STOP IT!" when they didn't, he growled. "STOP!"

Finally Dib bit his lip and shushed the two bots, "Sorry giggle Zim…Just that lol!! when you said 'maid outfit' I couldn't help but picture you in it!!" the laughter begged to be released, but he bit it back down.

Zim stood back and folded his arms. "Should be sorry…" he muttered. "GIR!"

"YES, MY MASTER!" the small robot snapped to attention, eyes glaring red and breast plate glowing madly. Then he turned back to his cute cyan color and droned "Yeeeeeessssss?"

Dib smiled brightly for the first time in a long while, GIR was just too cute.

"Squeak…" MiniMoose muttered dryly.

"Exactly…" Dib sighed.

"Mmhmm." GIR nodded.

All three gave each other a look, and then glanced back to Zim, who scoffed. He was clearly agitated. It was easy to tell, his madly wiggling antennae was a dead give away.

"GIR, go make the pitiful HYOOMAN something edible to eat while I rewrap his pitiful HYOOMAN injuries."

"Yay! Be rights back Dibbeh!" GIR squealed and ran/skipped to the elevator followed by a floating MiniMoose.

Once the robots had left, Zim looked back to Dib and slipped something around the boy's ears. Dib yelped when he felt the cold metal, but sighed in relief when he could see clearly. The green alien then turned his back to Dib and grabbed a pair of scissors from the little cabinet from which the clear Irken morphine was coming from. He turned back around and sat the stainless steel blades on Dib's lap.

"This might hurt a little, but if I don't replace them then you may get a disgusting HYOOMAN infection." the Irken murmured.

"Oh, that's okay. I've felt worse…"

Zim gave the thin human a questioning glance, but said nothing. He slowly, and most carefully, pulled the blood soaked wraps from around the thin Human's torso. Dib cringed and winced with every tug or pull, but never said a word. Zim saw the almost invisible scars and still horribly bleeding ones that littered the human's upper body and applied some healing antidote. Immediately all of the scars vanished, but the newer ones stayed, still seeping blood and Zim sighed happily, tugging Dib's head down so he could see his self. When he saw he grinned at the shorter male, who eagerly grinned back. Zim stood up and left Dib for a few minutes to get something. He wouldn't say.

The alien came back a few moments later with a couple of different colored gauze rolls in his gloved hand. He then sat down on his knees next to the befuddled human.

"Choose any color, Dib-Slave." Zim beamed "There's Proper Pink, Planetary Purple, Sunset Orange, Crimson Red, Forest Green, Battle-ready Blue, and Ballistic black. Your choice."

"Hm…_my_ choice, eh?" he mocked thinking, putting a now scar free bandaged hand to his chin "What's _your_ favorite color, Alien?"

"Me? Well, of course it _has_ to be the SUPERIOR color, crimson red!!" He laughed manically.

"Then, I want red." Dib said simply.

"Red it is then!" Zim said.

Dib smirked and watched as Zim gently wrapped the still bleeding cuts around his torso. When that was all said and done, Dib looked pretty spiffy with the dark red bandages wrapped tightly around him.

Then both Zim and Dib cringed when they heard the sound of pans against pans, metallic giggling and squeaks, and the sound of many microwaves going off at simultaneous intervals. It was enough to drive anyone mad, and the two bodies clutched their ears, deciding it would be easier to wait it out.

---

I say Dib can understand MiniMoose just because he can, okay? There are times when he won't be able to understand him and Zim will, there will be times Dib can and Zim can't. It depends on who MiniMoose is talking to. If that's confusing, to friggin' bad isn't it? Hehe, Jk. I love you guys.

Please, wait for the romance. They ARE guys, you know. All the guys I know are shy and hesitant when it comes to telling someone how they feel. Especially if they love someone. So, please, SHH!

PLEASE review!


	7. Chapter 6

A few minutes later, after GIR and MiniMoose had calmed down upstairs, Zim and Dib had started to try to figure out what to do to take over the world.

"Do you have a Plan of Attack?"

"Plan…of Attack?"

"Plan of Attack. I thought you had a whole bunch filed away. Uh, don't you?"

"Uh, heh. No. I usually never have a 'plan'; it's usually the spur of the moment kind of decision."

"So, whatever pops into your head…you just act on it? Never thinking of the consequences or _anything_?"

"Never."

"Well, list off anything that pops into your head then."

"Hmm, what about…evil robot weasels?" Zim started.

"Uh, I don't think so. It'd be way too complicated for this planet."

"Hum, I see…How about that evil demon squid?"

"Didn't that thing get out though? Then eat a bunch of little children…?" he shivered. Gross, the thing was all over the news for weeks and they never even considered that the freaky green kid was behind it.

"Oooooh yeah!" Zim chuckled menacingly. "I laughed so hard and evilly! Heh, demon squid…"

"Anymore spur of the moment ideas, Genius?" Dib snorted when he said genius and gave Zim a dry look.

"Always, Dib Slave. Hmm, evil…evil flying vampire piggies!" He looked to Dib excitedly.

"You mean…like Gaz's game of 'The Attack of the Vampire Piggies'?"

"Mmhmm. Wouldn't it be so ironic to be playing that game, then get attacked by the real thing?!" the alien chortled at how smart he was. Hum, what a Master of Irony.

"But…There's no such thing as vampires, Zim. And if you could, how would you be able to make a bunch of pigs into vampires?" the boy reasoned, yeah, he's definitely the logic in this game.

"Oh, right…" Zim tapped his head, what to do, what to do…? "I have got it!!" he shouted finally, and waited for Dib to ask.

"Oh boy," he twirled a finger in the air, "Whatcha got Zim?" Dib asked boredly.

"We-he-he-ell…what we do is take these little guinea pigs…and STUFF them with Irken poison, then we send them out for the humans to eat! When they do, they'll get poisoned and DIE, then **I**- uh, **WE** can take over the world! MuwahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHEHA!"

"Uh…Zim. I'd love to burst your bubble so…HUMANS DON'T EAT GUINEA PIGS!"

"Really? Are you sure?" Zim asked, rubbing his chin. "GIR told me that--"

"Can you really trust anything GIR says?" Dib asked, amused.

Zim rolled his eyes, "Well, not all the time. But the little guy sounded so sure of himself."

"He sounds like that all the time, idiot." Dib sighed and massaged his forehead. "Any more bright ideas?"

"Uhm, how about a disease, then?" Dib looked up at that and Zim continued. "You know, I have Irken medical supplies, and I know for a _fact_ that most of them are poisonous to the human body. While it makes Irkens healthy, it makes Humans sick with whatever the medicine was suppose to help with. It isn't compatible with filthy HYOOMAN! chemistry."

"Hn, that actually sounds better then robot death fleas." Dib commented.

"That's robot death BEES!"

"Whatever, that's not what's important right now. What did you have in mind?"

"Uhm, I dunno." Zim sighed, "I think better when I'm watching mindless human television and eating snacks." he drooled slightly, "Mmm, snacks."

Dib rolled his eyes, "That reminds me, do I still need this IV?" He held up an arm, fist up. In the vein was the needle dripping Irken morphine into his system.

"Oh-ho-ho! I remember that now." Zim cackled, "You should take that off, too much of that stuff is dangerous!"

"WHAT!?" the boy screamed and pulled out the needle roughly, throwing the offending item away from his person. "You TRYIN' to kill me?" he demanded, after he caught his breath from all his screaming.

"Well!" the alien put on an offended persona, "I never would have done such a thing!" For a while there, he had Dib going, but the Irken didn't last long. He turned and started to laugh insanely.

Dib was furious.

"That wouldn't have killed me now would it have? You LIE!" he pointed accusingly to the green boy.

Zim sobered up and said with an almost sad face, "I wanted to say that…"

"I hate you, you know." Dib seethed.

"Hah! Yes, I love you too Diblet!" Zim grinned and patted the human on the head.

"HEY!!" the two males cringed, "I ALL DONE IN DA KITCHEN NOW! I MADE…POCKY!! DO DA HOCKY POCKY!"

"SQUEAK!!"

---

As I have said before: **_REVIEW!_** Uh, please and thank you. And, geeze. I loved the reviews. Hehe, you guys really like? Do you like this chapter? Mmm, Pocky... You can thank Elemental ANimal (sp?) for Pocky. Mmm...I want some o' dat. .O Until next time.


	8. Chapter 7

Alrighty, for this chapter, I'll have to translate what Mini says, Okay? He's not gonna say too much...

**Mini Moose's translation will be in bold letters**

---

Up in the house, Zim licked his gloved fingers free of brown sugar. Next to him, Dib bit into a doughnut and chugged on his drink. It was light green, slightly glowing and really thick. At first, Dib had been hesitant to try it, but after Zim had GIR hold open his mouth and dribble some in, he'd been drinking quite a lot of it. Tastes like strawberries and bananas. Hey, Dib likes strawberries and bananas…those fruit are feminine!

"So, GIR?" Dib asked to get the robots attention. "What's Pocky, anyway?"

"Oh…" GIR seemed to think really hard for a moment. I mean really REALLY hard. "It's like a COOKIE!! In stick form! And-and---" from here on it was all gurgling and just really sickening to watch, then the little guy dumped all the contents of his drink into his mouth. Ew.

"Uh, ew?" he turned away, "Zim, what's Pocky made of?" he started in on first one. "Ack! Whoo! It's so sweet, it's burning my tongue!!" but he continued to suck off the fudge and eat the cookie.

"Huh? Hmm, well it's like-- No, wait." he paused. "Uhm, It's like a cookie stick with-- mmm…cookie stick…hehe…stick."

"What? Zim what the heck?" he started to feel dizzy and he waved back and forth. "Hehehehehe…this is a couch. I sit on these."

GIR and MiniMoose giggled in the background and he snapped out of it. "WHAT the! ZIM!" he shook Zim until he snapped out of it.

"What is it, HUMAN!"

"WHAT is this drink? You never said!"

"Uh, it's Irken wine. OH." he formed an "O" with his mouth. "I guess we should stop drinking it th-- WOAH!" he screamed.

Dib jumped back from him and landed on the floor, "WHAT?"

"Look at my hands! I only have three fingers…wow." Zim's red orbs widened in disbelief.

"Uh, yeah." Dib banged his head on the floor. "You're drunk, Zim."

"Wha-huh?" Zim stood up and hobbled over next to Dib on the ground. "THAT is a LIE! YOU LIE!"

"Hehe, Master is drunk? AGAIN??" GIR giggled, "YAY! Maybe he's gonna play wif meh!!

"Huh? What do you mean again?" Dib asked standing up and pushing the intoxicated Irken away.

"Squeeeaaak…" MiniMoose started. "Squeak squeak. Squee squeak squeak, squeak squeak squeak." **Well…when the Tallest told Zim he was defective that his mission was fake and to never call again, he was 'heartbroken'. He ordered a whole bunch of Irken wine and alcoholic drinks from all over the galaxy to get drunk every night, after school. He said it made him feel better, but I _really_ doubt it.**

"So, was he banished then?" it was unfathomable. He had thought Zim was actually here for a mission, and now to find out that it wasn't true…there were no words for it. Zim had been duped by his leaders? What kind of leaders would do such a thing? A million questions raced through his head, but Zim broke through his thoughts and threw Mini out of the living room and into the kitchen. GIR ran after the poor moose yelling, "CANDEH!!"

"WHO's banished?" Zim's words slurred together, "Not me, no way. My Tallest look up to me and my astounding achievements!" he stood on unsteady feet, trying to accustom a heroic pose, and Dib jumped up to steady him. If the alien got hurt, then he'd blame Dib for it.

"THEY didn't banish ME!" he shouted to the air and turned to Dib, strawberries on his breath. "I banished THEM from MY planet and MY humans!"

"So…they DID banish you, huh?" Dib asked quietly, but Zim was asleep, with his arms tightly secured around Dib's stomach. The boy sighed and went over to lay him on the couch. Once there, he tried to pry Zim off, but the alien was hold him tightly around his torso. It didn't hurt, but he couldn't unwrap the alien's lithe arms from around his neck.

"Uh, Zim?" he whispered, "Are you awake? Hey? Damn…" he sighed.

He sat down on the couch roughly, making sure that Zim wasn't hurt. With that he laid down with Zim on top of him. The alien shifted so that his face was in Dib's neck and so that he was laying face down on Dib. Stomach to stomach.

"Welp, this is uncomfortable." Dib sighed, but placed his arms around the small of Zim's back so he wouldn't fall off and dozed off into a cat nap.

A little later, GIR and MiniMoose tip-toed out from the kitchen. When they saw the two they were all, "UWWW, how sweet and all cute like." GIR lifted his metal covered finger in the air in an "IDEA!" motion and ran from the room. MiniMoose rolled his eyes as GIR made his way back in, carrying a huge fluffy pink blanket covered in hearts and candy. He laid it gently on them and tucked them in.

"Hehe. I'm gonna go and make some more Pocky." GIR sighed to the air and left.

---

Gaz stared blankly out the window of their front room and sighed. The sun shone brightly through the drapes and she felt like she wanted to just turn it off. But, another thing rang in her head, _Where the fuck is Dib? I WILL kill him if he doesn't show up soon._ She twirled her short violet hair on her finger, why wasn't Dib home anyway? By this time on a Saturday, he was suiting up and heading over to Zim's to spy. Yet, he wasn't home. Was he still at Zim's? If so, Why? What would Zim be doing to her brother? Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door opening.

"Good morning, Gaz." he ignored her when she hissed, "What's so good about it." He rolled his eyes from behind his thick goggles, "Hello, son." he walked past her, not even noticing his son wasn't there.

Gaz growled and yelled, "DIB ISN'T HERE!"

"Not here?" Professor Membrane back-tracked to her, "Then, where is he?"

"He went off to play with Zim the other night and he STILL hasn't come home. Probably killing each other as we speak…Hehe…killing…"

"Oh-ho-ho no, I'm sure Jib and his friend are having fun!"

"Dib! Your SON'S name is DIB!" she yelled.

He was unfazed, "Ah, yes Dib. How is he?" he seemed to forget who he was talking about.

She glared at him. "I hope you know how much I HATE you." she said calmly and walked to her room.

Membrane just stood there, then walked over and collapsed on the couch. "Hate?" he whispered. "Me?" Why would she hate me? We have all this money that I get from working over time. Shouldn't I be showered with love and hugs? What am I doing wrong? He took off his goggles to reveal dark piercing amber eyes and pulled down his collar. For a while he just sat there, then reached for his cell-phone.

"Yes? Hello, get me Simmons." he waited for what seemed forever, whispering, "C'mon, c'mon…" to himself. When Simmons got on, he got to the point. "It…seems I need to take some work off to spend with my children." he breathed.

"What? But SIR! What about the, um," he seemed hesitant to say anything and he whispered, "the 'you-know-what' machine?"

"That will have to wait, nothing is more important then my FAMILY!" he shouted and hung up. He stood. "Now! Time for a family outing." he paused and sat back down.

"What do children like to do?"

---

I decided to look at the two in a different light. Why not? I mean, maybe Membrane doesn't realize how his actions will affect his children. And maybe Gaz cares more then she lets on. Whatever. XD! How cliche! EEK!


	9. Chapter 8

"Lets see…" Membrane muttered, flipping the dusty pages of a book. "A-HAH! Let's see, to find out what your child likes best: ask them. Oh, why didn't _I_ think of that?" He shut the book with a bang and sat it on the coffee table in the living room.

He cleared his throat, "Uh, GAZ!" He blinked in surprise when all he got was a growl from her room. "GAZ? WILL YOU COME DOWN HERE!?" He tried again, in the book, rightfully named 'Children for Dumassess', it said to be firm with your children. As long as you don't hurt them, cuz then you go to jail.

He heard her door slam frightfully hard and watched as she stormed down the stairs, her 'You are dead' look in place.

"This had better be good." she mumbled. What was he doing now? She wondered.

"I have decided it is time to spend the WHOLE week with my family and I wanted to know what you like best, hm."

"Pizza, pigs and games." she said, not really believing that he was going to spend the whole week with both her and Dib. She was bracing herself for when his assistant Simmons would call and he'd leave as he always does. Yeah, that never came. "Dib still isn't here you know, don't we have to wait for him?"

"Ah, yes. You're brother. I suppose we will!" he tapped his chin, what do normal families do? "How about some TV?" he stepped over and sat down on the couch, patting a place beside him for her to sit.

"Whatever…" she shut off her GameSlave--SHUT OFF. This was important, she NEVER got to spend time with Membrane and it was high time she got to.

---

Hours later at Zim's house:

Dib groaned and groped for any type of warmth. He grabbed an arm, pulled the thing higher, and snuggled his face into the crook of what seemed to be a neck.

"DIB!! I AM ZIM!" Ow, right in the ear.

"WHAT!" the boy jumped up and the other fell on the floor with a thud. "O-oh…boy. Sorry, Zim. I'm not a morning person." He scratched the back of his neck, "You have a shower around here?"

"MORNING person?!" Zim screeched from the floor, "It's twelve in the afternoon! Moreover, no, I do not have a shower. IF you haven't forgotten, WATER BURNS ME!" He jumped up.

"I know! Geeze…" he lifted his arm, "Well, if you want me stinking up the place, then I suggest we head over to my house. I'm sure dad will be at work and Gaz will be in her room."

"Grah! Fine." he snapped his fingers and MiniMoose hovered into the room, wig and contacts in mouth. The moose dropped them in the aliens waiting hands and he popped them on. "There, let's go so we can get back here and plot to take over this miserable ball of dirt."

"Don't you want to change first?" Dib asked, giving Zim a once over. The alien's suit was ripped and torn in so many places, ugh, it was horrible. Dib then glanced down at his own clothes. The bottom half of his shirt was torn off, so that there was a shred of clothing around his upper half and the sleeves were intact.

"Why?"

Uh, fashion disaster? "Because it isn't NORMAL to walk around in tattered clothes." He sneered.

"Hum, really? What about you?" He was rightfully suspicious. The human looked horrible as well.

"Uh, geeze fine." he rolled his eyes, "can I borrow some clothes?" Zim snapped his claws together once more and the Computer lowered a tube from the ceiling. "Two Irken uniforms."

"Yeah…" The Computer belted them out. One in Dib's arms, the other in Zim's.

"NOW! Leave so I can get dressed without wandering EYES!" Zim pointed to the kitchen.

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS! Now, get."

"Fine…" the boy grumbled and walked into the kitchen. Once there, he threw the Irken clothes on the table. He lifted his shirt over his head and he just realized he didn't have his trench coat, "Aw, geeze." he cursed and tossed the offending shirt away from him. After that he pulled off his boots and pants, unbuckling the boots was a btch. He then pulled on the stretchy material known as pants and pulled on the red striped shirt.

"Huh?" he noticed that there were gloves and shoes there too. "Aw, why the hell not?" He pulled on the rubbery gloves and boots tight. "Yeah, I look gewd." he stepped to the doorframe, "Zim? You done?"

"Hm? Oh- yes. Yes I am, for…I AM ZIM!!"

"Yeah, that's great." the taller male stepped in. "Well?"

"Well what?"

Dib rolled his eyes, "How do I look in Irken clothes?"

"Hum…" Zim stalked closer and looked him up and down. "Pretty good. They fit all right? I though they might have been, uh, too small."

"Oh, no."

They stood facing each other awkwardly. Both wondering if the other remembered sleeping like that, at least until, "HI! WHERE 'RE YOU GOING?!" GIR…

"Let's go." Zim said quickly and jumped out the door.

"Let's." Dib replied and followed the alien. They slammed the door shut and ran down the sidewalk towards Dib's house.

Once there, Dib stopped Zim at the door.

"Look, if Gaz is in there, try to not bother her. She'll kill you and we can't take over the world if you're dead."

"Aw, grah, I'll be FINE!" Zim moved and grabbed the door handle, Dib's hand landed on his own.

"_Zim…_"

"I won't even PEEP. Okay? Can we go?" He was eager to make a plan and set it in motion.

"Alright, fine." Dib sniffed and opened the door roughly. Boy, he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Membrane on the couch with Gaz.

"Uh, dad?" Dib asked.

"What!? What is so important you just had to stop!!" Zim pushed Dib out of the way and just stared at Membrane in distaste, "You stopped for THIS?"

Membrane stood up. "Son! Finally, I had this odd tingly weird feeling while you were gone so long."

"Dad was worried." Gaz grunted from the couch and stood up.

"Worried? About me? The CRAZY kid?" Dib snorted, "Look, I'm taking a shower and going back over to Zim's. We're, uh, having a sleep over."

"What is this SLEE--" Zim started, but Dib clasped a hand over his mouth, "Heh, he's really eccentric."

"But- son! Today and the rest of the week I've planned a special family outing!" his father protested.

"Yeah, sorry about that." Dib said distractedly, then hissed to Zim, "What happened to 'not a peep'?" and let go of him.

"You can bring your little green friend with us! It'll be FUN!" Membrane's voice left no room for argument.

But, still… "Bu--"

"NO!" the tall scientist cleared his throat, "No buts. We ARE going on this family outing and we WILL have fun! Now, go take your shower if you must."

"Ugh, okay. But after this, me and Zim got things to do." Dib mumbled and walked up the stairs to the bathroom, Zim followed.

"Huh, that's odd." Zim commented, near the top of the stairs.

"I know." the boy tapped his chin, "WHY the sudden interest?"

"No. Look at the way your drapes clash with your carpet! Yeck!"

Dib climbed up the last step and turned around with a look on his face. Zim stared at him oddly before the human bust out laughing. Dib laughed and laughed, then walked into his room, still laughing.

"Eh?" he listened to the door click close, "Does I LOOK like a CLOWN to you! Am I FUNNY like a clown!!" He waited for an answer and when none came, he shrugged and glanced around the house. Then, "OOHH! What does THIS do?"

---

Okay, the thing about the carpet and drapes wasn't originally supposed to be there, but I put it in there for my own amusement. It makes me giggle. GIGGLE!

Plus, children and/or adults, I have decided that Gaz will...DIE! MWAHAHAHAHA! Take that BITCH! Ahem Excuse me...


	10. Chapter 9

In his room, Dib pulled out the usual blue-gray shirt, the one with the neutral face on it. For once, he looked at it distaste and threw in behind him in disgust. How could he have worn that before? Yech! He kept digging until he came up with a black long sleeve shirt with one white stripe going from the shoulder to the hem.

"I like it." he said and folded it neatly, placing it next to him. "Pant, pants, pants…" he mumbled, then pulled out his usual spandex type pants. He made a face, "HOW did I ever wear this?" he tossed it aside. Then he pulled out black pants. The stitching of them were stark white. "I like it." then he thought about the clothes he pulled out. "Should I be worried all I pulled out is black?" He shrugged and pulled out a pair of boxers.

When he stepped out, Zim was down the steps in the living room, fiddling with the lamp that looked like Membrane. He scoffed and pulled the hall closet open, pulling a wash rag and towel from the mess.

"Don't break that, you little monster!" Dib called before jumped into the bathroom.

Zim, startled, and as jumpy as he was, jumped and almost let the thing he was poking at fall to the floor. Thank you for Irken reflexes. He sighed and put the light source back onto the end table. Hey, why do they call them end tables? He thought about it… It's because-- no… OH! Because, if you hit them in the head with it, it'll…be…the end? His antennae wiggled from under his wig and tapped his chin.

"AH! Little foreign child!" Membrane entered the room.

Zim practically leaped onto the couch, but he held himself back and turned to face membrane. "Ah…uh, Dib's father unit! How…_nice_ to see you."

"Ah, yes. Good to see you too, I suppose. You were just the guy I was looking for. Would you mind…if I asked you a _few_ questions?"

"There's one." Zim rolled his eyes at the stupid joke, the fool didn't even get it.

"I suppose that is!" He coughed, "Here sit down."

The walked over and sat on the cushiony sofa. They sat in awkward silence until membrane started, "I was wondering if you knew anything that Dib likes?"

"Uh…" He thought about it. All he knew about Dib was that he was annoying, big-headed, and liked the paranormal and the supernatural. Especially aliens, he grinned on the inside. "Well, he likes the paranormal…" he saw the look on Membrane's face. Friends were supposed to know EVERYthing about the other! Make something up, QUICK! "Well, he- he likes rides! Really fast ones!"

"Ah, yes. I'll remember that! Anything else?"

"He- uh, he likes to play games- video games!"

Membrane nodded holding a pad of paper and pen in hand, "Go on. Go on."

Zim didn't need an incentive. "He likes the games where there's a lot of blood. And, he loves clothes. He rollerblades all the time! Skateboarding is always good." and he went on and on and on. They were ALL lies, except the paranormal thing.

"I'm sure that will be enough to last the rest of the week! Thank you…eh," he did a little hand motion, as if saying "Could ya help me out here?"

Zim sighed, "Zim. I AM ZIM!" he held his hands, clenched into fists, high above his head.

"Yes, thank you, I am Zim." he started distractedly, looking like he wanted to say something else. He didn't.

Upstairs in the bathroom, Dib was washing his hair. He stood under the stream, letting the water slide down in swirls. A bit of blood was also mixed into the water, for Dib had taken off the bandages. But, it didn't bother him. He let the deliciously warm water run down his aching body. After a while he rinsed his hair and started to wash the rest of his body. For once, he started to really scrub. As if he was washing away all the pain and hate that he used to hold for the odd alien.

Some one knocked on the door. It was Zim.

"Dib-Sla- uh, Dib?" he started, "Did you fall in? Cuz…I'VE BEEN WAITING FOREVER!"

Dib sighed, "I'LL BE READY WHEN I'M READY!"

He decided he was ready. Once out of the shower, he mopped his pale skin dry, after his hair. He pulled the shirt over his head and pulled on the pants, then looked in the tall mirror next to the tub.

"I wonder why I never wore these. And I forgot my trench coat!" He shook his head and kept rubbing it against his head, hoping to get it dry. He pulled on his socks and opened to the door to run into Zim. Dib toppled over onto his back with Zim on top.

"Will you watch where you are going, HYOOMAN?" Zim growled.

"Ow, geeze. Sorry, sorry…" Dib grumbled then looked up at the Irken, "Will you get up now?" he asked nervously.

"Oh, right. Yes, yes I will." he stood up quickly and brushed off his uniform, "Well, at least you smell better then before!"

"Yeah, whatever… Where's my dad at?"

"Huh?" Zim twirled to face the bottom of the stairs, "I think in the…what was it called? OH! The kitchen."

Dib rolled his eyes and started down, with Zim following after. Zim then broke off away from the human to stare at Gaz from the bottom step. Gaz was currently playing her game, and apparently losing. Zim jumped as he heard that dreaded music and the GameSlave sang, "You have been KILLED!"

She sat still for a while before growling angrily and sending the game flying across the room, straight at Zim. He dodged it and watched as it smashed into a million pieces.

"WHAT a waste. No WONDER the human race is so…so FILTHY!" Zim 'tsk'ed.

"Oh, right. And you're so perfect right?" Gaz snorted, appearing right next to the alien, who jumped in surprise.

He backed off slightly, but yelled, "I AM perfect! NO ONE is more perfect then ME! ZIM!"

Gaz snorted again, "Like, I am SO sure." and she shuffled into the kitchen, her eyes glaring daggers.


	11. Chapter 10

-1Dib sighed contentedly; nothing was better then the feeling of clean. He walked into the kitchen; his dad was muttering something and leaning over a book. A book that the professor hadn't used since their mom was…ABDUCTED BY ALIENS! Dib knew that's what happened, it's just that no one believed him.

"What're you reading?" he refused to call him 'dad' now. No use in getting attached now, right?

"Whah?" the Professor picked up the book and shoved it into his lab coat, making a huge book shaped indention. How, uh, UNnoticeable, yes. "OH, uh, nothing son! Go- go play with Kim."

Somewhere from in the living room, Zim shouted, "It's ZIM! Z-I-M!"

"Sure whatever, Pim. Now, Dib, go play with him. I've got important scien--" Membrane stopped, and then coughed, "I've got important FATHER things to do!"

Dib shook his head, "Okay, have fun. Just tell me when we're heading out." he waved him off, not caring one way or the other. If everyone was gonna die anyway, what's the point of caring?

When Dib stepped out of the kitchen, Zim was on the floor, bending over something. He stepped around him; he was working on some kind of machinery. He recognized the insignia, Gaz's GameSlave? It was broken? Moreover, she hasn't even pummeled Dib or Zim for it? He turned around, Gaz was standing behind him. She stared at the alien hard, he had finished. Zim stood and admired his work, how amazing!

"Do you want this junk, human?" Zim looked at Gaz with a glare. Daring her to ask 'why?'.

She looked away, then back up at him. She glared back, clearly telling him she doesn't care why. "Yes." He handed it to her and she walked away. She wore a frown, but you could totally tell that she was ecstatic.

Dib laughed once she had gone far enough out of range, "Why'd you do _that_ of all things?"

Zim shrugged, glare wiped away, "It's an 'earn her trust' type of thing. At the time it seemed like a good idea." he brushed away the imaginary dust from his uniform and leaned in to whisper in Dib's ear, "Besides, I rigged a bomb in it. So, after 12 hours and after we're safely away, it'll go off."

"Really?" Dib paused, "You carry a bomb around?"

He scoffed, "Duh, of course. Doesn't everybody?"

"No, surprisingly enough, not everyone carries a bomb around with them." Dib laughed.

Membrane peeked out from the doorway. From this side he could tell Dib was laughing. It was, lyke, gut busting. He smiled involuntarily.

"Z-Zim…" Dib wiped his eyes, "You're nuts!" Zim shrugged.

The Professor stepped out from the kitchen fully. He wasn't wearing his lab coat. In their place were baggy and faded blue jeans and a light blue polo shirt. "Okay. We are going to…the FAIR! Right Dib, fast rides!!" he winked at the confused boy. He hated fast rides. "Lots of arcades!" He winked at Gaz, who grunted. "I almost forgot the little green child-" he ignored Zim when he yelled 'I AM ZIM!', "What do you like?"

"Destruction, chaos, doom, dea--" Dib nudged him, the look on his dad's face was all, 'That kid is a bad influence'. "Oh, right." he paused. 'Think human thoughts, think human thoug-- "AHA! Uh, I mean…I…like…food! I eat food, just like you." Dib whispered in his, uh, antennae, "Oh, wow. Smooth, he almost suspected something." his voice was _dripping_ in sarcasm, it was _slathered_ in it. Zim didn't catch on.

"Yes, yes. I know it to be true." Zim whispered back, "But you can praise me elsewhere, Dib-Slave, we're on a mission!"

"Oh, yes. HOW could I have forgotten." Dib sighed and followed Gaz and his dad out to the car. Zim followed him.

"So, I was thinking. Can't we just leave him? I mean, it's not as if he'll go looking for you right?" Zim asked, "I kind of want to get a head start on this disease thing."

"Well…we can just break off from him and go plot somewhere on the grounds, but I don't think we'll be able to just leave him. Did you hear the way he was talking? As if he _actually_ cared. It's just probably mid-life crises or something. Or it's for his image." the more he thought about it, the madder he got.

Zim saw this, and went on, trying to work on it. "Sure, it's only for image. He doesn't _really_ want to spend time with his 'insane son', I assure you. Why don't we just leave this sorry sap and go back to the base, work on our plans?" It was working, Dib looked like he was considering it. Just run the hell out of there and-- Membrane looked back and grinned a little to happily for just going to the fair.

Suddenly, Dib felt guilty for thinking like that. If it was a mid-life crisis, doesn't he have to be there? He never truly hated the Prof. right? He never even hated Gaz either. Zim frowned at the guilty look that Dib was giving his father. That sure wasn't a good sign.

"You coming son? Foreign kid?" Membrane blinked, a little confused to why Dib looked so guilty. The boy hadn't done anything, had he?

Dib then gave Membrane a weak smile, "We're coming…" He then grabbed the sulking Zim's arms and threw him into the back seat next to Gaz, then got in himself. Zim grumbled and then looked over Gaz's shoulder to see what she was playing. 'Doom Piggies II?'. WHAT was with her and stupid pink pigs, didn't she hate the color pink?

"Doom Piggies, eh?" Zim tried to make conversation with the inapproachable child.

"Listen, if you want to keep your eyes in your eye sockets where they belong, get away. NOW." She never even took her eyes away from the prize. Boy, is she _talented_!

Zim 'EEP!'ed and smashed into Dib. Dib smashed into the car door, letting out a 'UW' and an 'OW!'. He glared at Zim, who was staring at Gaz with a look of displeasure. He half turned, his lips dangerously close to Dib's. The teen blushed but Zim didn't notice as he whispered, "When we can, let's take out your scary evil sister…" Dib barely caught it and just hummed. He swallowed thickly, this was not good.

When Gaz growled, Zim scooted closer to Dib, any closer now and he'd be on top of the poor hormone driven teen. You know what they say, men only love with their penis? It's true.

Zim turned, again dangerously close to kissing Dib, again and whispered, "Once at this stupid HYOOMAN fair, let's get as far away from them as possible and plan." he glanced up from watching to make sure no one heard him talk, "Dib-Slave?"

Dib snapped out of it and blushed harder. Like a strawberry that kid, big and red. Zim gave him a questioning look, "Why're you so-so RED?" he whispered.

"N-nothing…" Dib gasped. Damn those teenage hormones. Damn them.

"Whatever." Zim gave him a dry look, as if he knew why he was so red. He really didn't you know, he just loves to watch the Dib squirm. Is that a bad thing?

"aaaaaaaannnnnnnd…WE ARE HERE!" Membrane stepped on the brake, sending Zim, who was stupid and didn't wear a buckle, crashing into the windshield.

Zim made a 'POP'ing sound as he tore his face away from the glass. He straightened out his wig as best as he could and slurred his words as he said, "I- I'll be…okay! Just…OW!!!"

Dib ran to his side (FANGIRLS: Awww…) and slapped his head a little (FANGIRLS: Give us SLASH!). "You idiot. THAT is why you wear a seat belt."

"Is the little foreign boy alright?" Membrane yelled, already as the ticket booth. "OH, Gaz and I will go ahead! See you later!"

Gaz put her GameSlave in her pocket. This better be good. The two, Dad and Daughter, walked into the fair and disappeared into the crowds.

Zim stood up with a tiny help from Dib. The alien snatched his claw back. Dib frowned, but didn't say anything. "We aren't going into that _thing_ are we?" he asked, looking at the buildings, rides and booths in disgust.

"No, we can always stay here." Dib spanned his arms, and Zim glanced right and left. Bums both ways, trash, horrible smells… He turned to the fair, happy people, clean, delicious smells…

"I think that place is better." he paused, "It was MY idea. Let's go slave." he flicked his fingers and Dib rolled his eyes.

He followed with a sarcastic sneer, "Yes, _Master_."

---

DIB (mad): my head is NOT big!

ZIM (nonchalant): you just keep telling yourself that.

DIB (still mad, maybe even madder.): I will! I mean--

ZIM (like he found out some conspiracy): So you ADMIT it!

DIB (astonished): WHAT? No. NO, I did--

ZIM (happily): You said it not me! You said it, you said it…( and on in that manner.)

Dib (CRAZY! JK.): No I didn't! LIAR! I swear Zim, I'm not afraid to hit you! (also on in that manner)

Yeah…I did this for fun. I have no idea why…WHAA!


	12. Chapter 11

Once the two boys walked into the fair, they were irritated. For some reason, the jolliness of this place made them both sick. Dib didn't like it because it reminded him of a failed childhood and Zim just hated so many humans crowded in such a small space.

"Welp, I think we're far enough from da--uh Membrane and Gaz to go plan in some dark corner of this place." Dib sighed, motioning in a random direction.

"M'hm…Zim knows. REMEMBER, _I_ am the Master here. So say it!" Zim decided he needed some fun while he was here.

"What?" Dib had started to walk away and didn't catch it, Zim ran to catch up with the human. Hey, he looked like he knew where he was going.

"Say that Zim is your Master!"

"No."

"Just once?"

"No."

"SAY IT OR I'LL RIP OUT YOUR THROAT!"

"FINE!" Dib stopped walking and turned to face Zim. He looked straight into Zim's eyes and said, "You are my Irken Master, Zim, and I live only to serve you and you only…" he smirked suddenly and scoffed as if it were a huge joke, "…Happy now?"

Zim looked away, nodding and they started off again. Zim was kind of disappointed. He was hoping for more of a fight… For a while the two just walked in a thick silence, the whole world melted away. Just them walking. Dib glanced over at Zim just as Zim glanced over at Dib. Suddenly that deranged man in a Poop Dog contume popped out of nowhere and yelled,

"HEY! BUY SOME CANDEH!" the beady little eyes floated off in different directions. Odd…

The two boys stared at the odd costume man in silence. Then Zim screeched and snatched up Dib's hand. He started to run through the crowds yelling, "AAAAHHHH! IT'S THE POOP SHADOW OF DAH FEAT!" at the top of his lungs and dragging an unfortunate Dib behind him.

"AH! Zim slow down, I can't-" Dib huffed and puffed. He hadn't known that Zim could run so fast. Usually the two just stood their ground and hit each other. "I can't keep up!"

Once Zim got to a dead end between two walls (don't ask why there are walls in the fair, there just are. I so decree.) He stopped, making Dib crash into him. Hey, there was no warning there. Zim landed on his butt, back against the wall, and Dib landed on Zim, legs on both sides of the smaller male and his head on Zim's shoulder.

"Ow…" Dib groaned and shifted.

Zim practically squeaked when he felt Dib move on top of him. "DIB-SLAVE!"

"WHAT!" Dib snapped out of it, planting both hands on the alien's shoulders, practically pinning him to the wall. He blushed.

"What do you think you are doing?" Zim asked, an odd look on his face.

"Uh…" Dib stuttered for words. "_Why is it so hard to talk? C'mon, Dib, give him a snappy comeback! DO SOMETHING!_" he yelled to himself, in his head.

"Well…" Zim leaned closer to the Dib, their lips almost touching. "Dib-Slave?"

Dib felt every flick of the green alien's lightning fast tongue on his lips. "Whah-what am I d-doing? Nothing!"

Zim smirked, "Then…why are you turning such a bright red?"

"…"

"M'hm." Zim was practically kissing him now, but he kept talking, "Do…you want our lips to touch, Dib-Slave? Want to show me your '_loyalty_' again?"

Dib moaned at the thought and blushed harder, Zim already knew that kissing wasn't a sign of loyalty? "I-I…" He sighed on Zim's lips. Then leaned forward and kissed the alien, who was shocked that the boy would actually do it, but happily responded.. Zim pulled back, pushing the human away slightly by his shoulders.

"I always knew you were - what do you call it? Gay?" Zim tapped his lip, "Yeah, that's it. I always knew you were _gay_."

"I'm not gay…" Dib muttered.

"So, what are you then?"

"Not gay." Dib looked away, "Besides, you're the only _boy_ I…kind of…like."

"What do I mean by that?"

"Never mind…" Dib sighed and started to get up. "This looks like a good place to-uh-you know _plot_."

Zim glanced around, he hadn't even noticed they were alone. He was more focused on the Dib that was in his lap. Once the human stood, he felt cold and wanted that warmth back. So, he pulled the human down so he was back in the alien's lap.

"Can't we plot like this?"

Dib was sitting with his back to Zim with the alien's thin yet strong arms around his waist. He swallowed thickly. He leaned his head so that he was looking at Zim upside down, "Why?"

It was Zim's turn to blush. "Eh…" he giggled nervously and Dib raised a brow at the uncharacteristic sound. Zim really didn't know the answer to that, but Dib just shrugged and said,

"Maybe...just for a little while, though..." Dib felt better that Zim seemed nervous, though he was better at hiding it. He faced forward and sat in silence.

Zim pretty much thought that Dib didn't want to talk, so he was quiet. Too quiet… Zim was watching the boy's bobbing scythe hair. Zim wiggled his antennae from under his wig and kept watching as the lock of hair blew in the wind. Zim bit the scythe lock so it would stop moving. Dib squirmed a little, as if he could feel it. But he couldn't, because it's just hair.

Zim let go and raised a hand to the lock of hair that was the boy's scythe. He grabbed a hold of it and pulled on it gently, making Dib squirm. Zim let go of it and ran his gloved hand through the boy's hair. Dib shuddered and leaned into the touch. They sighed collectively and sat in silence once more.

---

Geeze, I try so hard. I have a little bit of writers block. If anyone could give me any funny ideas or something, I'd appreciate it. Grah, I beat myself up as I read this. What was I thinking...?

Anyway, **_REVIEW!_** please.


	13. Chapter 12

-1They had sat like for almost half and hour before Zim decided they should start to plot. So, Dib scooted off the alien and sat cross-legged across from him. Zim then pulled out a bunch of papers and diagrams out of his PAK and laid them on the ground between the two. Zim handed Dib a list of Irken Medical supplies that he conveniently held in his PAK.

"Why do you have this just on hand?" Dib asked, slightly freaked out.

Zim shrugged and started to read off from his own list. "All of this is poisonous to you HYOOMANS! But I want to pick the one that will do the most damage and will hurt very, VERY badly."

Dib rolled his eyes, "Yeah, we aren't good enough for a quick and painless death." he paused. "Did you already try these out on humans?!"

"What makes you think that?"

The column for humans… "Look, it says here. Product: Vortian Soup. Responses: Irken: helps with a cold. Human: melts the flesh right off their BONES!"

"Ha, that was a sight to watch! I remember like it was yesterday."

"Says on the date it WAS just yesterday."

"Oh, well. No wonder." Zim chuckled a bit, "Ah, the bones were still intact, you know. I thought when it said flesh, it meant bones too. But, nope!"

Dib pictured it in his head. "OH! Ew, gross. I'm sure it was really cool looking, but when you just imagine it, it's terrifying!"

"Hehheh, yes. Isn't it?" Zim smiled at the thought. "Okay, let's get our plan on the drawing board. Or that piece of paper."

Dib looked down the list. Most of them looked painful and slow. Nice. "Why don't we just use the Vortion soup? Can you make it a type of disease?"

"Yes…I never thought of that before…" Zim rubbed his chin in thought, "IT SHALL BE DONE! Once we get back to the base, we can start working on it right away. Then we can go to the most populated places in the world and--"

"AH! Dib, Little Foreign boy!" Professor Membrane walked into the darkened alleyway. "Gaz and I wanted to know if you would want to go on a roller coaster!"

Gaz grunted, but Zim and Dib stood up in shock. Zim stashed his plans for world conquest in his PAK and smiled innocently. Dib whistled a tune and said, "Yeah, sure, whatever." He had no idea what the Professor had just said.

"Great! Come now, while the lines are SHORT!" Membrane grabbed a hold of Dib's right arm and Zim's left arm, to hurry them up. "It's called the Back Snapper. Doesn't that sound fun?"

Dib swallowed thickly, he just remembered he hated fast rides. "Uh, I'm not feeling to well and I--"

"Nonsense, son!"

"Yes, Membrane, I'm not feeling too well! Look at how green I am!" Zim started to make little sicky noises.

Membrane stopped for a second…"But…you're always green…" he started to walked again, "C'mon! It's our turn!" He raced up to the carts, cutting a lot of people in line and put Zim in the same cart as Dib. Gaz sat next to her dad, GameSlave already going. Dib started to shake and Zim looked as if he wanted to just die. Or he wanted someone else to die. Same thing. The belts lowered themselves down and the two gripped them for dear life. The coaster started up the first hill slowly and stopped at the top for what seemed like hours.

"This is YOUR fault HYOOMAN! That 'Look how green I am, I must be sick' routine always works! You jinx!"

"JINX?! My fault! Who told Membrane I liked fast r-" that's where he started to scream as the coaster speed down the hill at 60 miles an hour. The two screamed and screamed, which Membrane took as a good thing. Screaming is GOOD!

A couple of minutes later, they ended back where they started. Zim and Dib were hugging each other tightly and looked like they had just seen a ghost. Dib's hair was all mussied up and Zim's Wig was half-way off. Dib straightened the wig and shook his head. The alien stepped out of the cart followed by Dib, both looking terribly sick.

"Wasn't that GREAT, kids?" Membrane raised his arms in enthusiasm

"Very." Gaz laughed as she watched Zim run behind a trashcan and throw up. Dib soon followed the alien's lead and ran behind another trashcan. You know what he's doing.

Dib grumbled angrily and Zim grunted as they made their way back to the scientist and the doom child. Once there, Dib pulled his scythe back into place and combed his hair with a conveniently abandoned comb. Grooossssss…

Membrane grinned, and said, "How about some food before we leave? Any preferences?"

"Bloaty's Pizza Hog." Gaz said, glaring at the two boys'. Daring them to say otherwise.

"Boys?" Membrane asked.

They shook their heads and spoke at the same time, "M'hm - yeah - Bloaty's is fine--Mmmmhm."

"Okay…Bloaty's it is!" Membrane turned and started for the exit with Gaz while the two boys trailed behind.

"Did you see that LOOK! Oh, she WILL pay…How she will PAY!" Zim scratched at the air in excitement and Dib grabbed them.

"Could you try to act normal for once? Once we get to Bloaty's, and maybe eat a little, we can ditch 'em and get to your base. Okay?"

"Fffffine! I'm not eating it though."

"You have to at least eat ONE slice, Zim. If you don't, Membrane will think there is something wrong." Oh, how he loved to mess with the alien. He was so gullible.

"GAH! You and your HYOOMAN stomachs. Fine. ONE slice and then we are heeee-story."

"Good. Cuz I'm starved." Dib rubbed his stomach. "I threw up everything I had. And I hadn't eaten much since yesterday."

"I don't know whether I'm disgusted or revolted. A little of both I guess.." Zim sniffed sarcastically.

"Oh, save it." Dib scoffed as he pushed the Irken into the middle seat. He then sat down in his seat, buckled himself up and was ready to go. Gaz got into the front seat this time.

Zim noticed this and pulled out the plans from earlier and a couple of notebooks. He shook them in Dib's face to get his attention. "The Dib!"

-------

Hello allz! I reeeeeeeeeeally hope you like this. I promise a little fluff in the next chapterrrr! 'Kay? Aaaannnnyyyy how, rate and review please! Plus, if you have le time, can you give me a general ending you'd want to see happen? Lyke, they kill all humans and go into space to have HOT ALIEN SMEX! Oooorrrrr, they rule the world and they break off from the Irken race. Whatever you can think of, just throw it at me and I shall think about it.


	14. Chapter 13

"Mph?" Dib mumbled. He turned slightly and saw the plans. "Alright, but let's do this discreetly." his voice lowering to a murmur, he turned to look at Zim fully.

"Urgh, whatever. Just- here." Zim breathed and handed Dib two little notebooks, one black and one red. "Look through these." he pointed to the red notebook, "This holds the names of every single human virus I could get a hold of. And this-" he pointed to the other, "-are all of the antidotes to said viruses."

Dib started to flip through the red one. "Ebola? Polio? How'd you get samples of these? The only samples I know that exist are in the highly guarded labs." he whispered to Zim.

The Irken smirked and leaned in, "You can get away with anything if you're _the_ Professor Membrane, Dibbles…"

"…But how did you do it? Your disguises suck. How would you have been able to pull it off?" Dib looked at him incredulously.

"You know that Dib Bot I made?" Dib nodded, already knowing where this was going, "Let's just say that I decided I needed someone with more power and height. Someone so famous that I could do what ever I want and get away with it, no questions asked." Zim paused to emphasize it, then, "Like…your father unit." Zim pointed to the oblivious Membrane, who was busy naming all of the constellations and named stars, like suns. Freak.

"You…made a robot that looks like my da--eh, Membrane?" Dib tapped his lip, "You still have it, right? We could probably use it at some point."

"Of **course** I still have it. I still have the young Dib Bot. Though I can't use it anymore because you grew taller." Zim 'pffted', "Stupid human hormones, making you taller then the mighty Invader Zim."

Dib just smiled and decided not to comment on that, a sarcastic remark wouldn't be appreciated right now. He closed his eyes and sighed. The car slowed to a stop as Membrane parallel parked it. The tall scientist stepped out of the car, motioning the children to do the same. Gaz sighed harshly as she slunk from the car, but on the inside, she was ecstatic. Pizza is like God. Only better.

Dib waited until his family walked into the door, looking as if they'd leave without them. He sighed. _Great, another day where everyone seems to blot me out, as if I'm not even there…_

"Eh…? DIB SLAVE!" Zim screamed and Dib jumped with a tiny "ah?!". "Let's just goooooooo! I am perfectly sure that they won't be missing us in there." the little alien tried to persuade him again.

Dib lowered his head and said, "Your right. They're probably eating already, completely forgetting who I am at the same time."

Zim's grin came on at full blast, those zippered teeth showing victory and recognition for Dib. He grinned back, showing as much of his own teeth as he could bear, hoping his teeth said the same to Zim.

"Let us go, Dib Slave. We have work to do…" Zim growled it out all evil-y and stuffed the two notebooks into his PAK as he exited the car with care. He hated that stupid vehicle and he was pretty sure it hated him to. Throwing him around all the time.

"Lots of work…" Dib sighed and looked back at Bloaty's before jumping out of the car to stand beside Zim. He felt the urge to hug something right then. No reason really, just that he had the feeling no one cared if he lived or died. Either way would really be horrible, since he was sure if he was gonna die, someone would kill him first. If he was gonna live, what was the point? His shoulders shook slightly and he stepped behind the shorter male. Without another thought he wrapped his slim arms around the alien and sighed into his neck.

"Dib Slave?" Zim muttered, annoyed but then, he liked the feeling around his torso. Made him feel…good. Was it a bad thing to feel this way? Who cares? Zim leaned and put his full weight on the human, "What're you doing?"

"I need a hug. It was **your** fault. **You** made me feel bad. I guess you're not cut out to be a master after all."

Dib smiled, at least the alien didn't try to move away. That was a good sign, eh, he thought. For the time, he wasn't really sure what he meant when he thought that. But it didn't matter, he tightened his grip and nuzzled his face into the sensitive, soft Irken skin. Instead of shuddering, Zim moved his head to the side a little and Dib laid his head there. Dib suddenly remembered seeing a TV show like this, and the two main characters stood the way Zim and Dib were standing now. Dib chuckled and straightened out Zim's wig with the comb he found in chapter twelve, yeah that's right. I said it.

"Oh yeah? Well, you're an unruly slave. Bad slave, baaaaaaaad."

Zim's eyes lowered to half mast and he cuddled Dib's cheek with his own. Dib nuzzled back and kissed Zim's open skin, making Zim shudder this time. Not really expecting something like that, but not really surprised, he leaned his head away to give Dib more room. Dib noticed this and started to kiss the alien's neck, forgetting entirely where he was. He nibbled on the soft skin here and there, loving the taste for some reason he couldn't understand. Zim shivered when Dib suckled on his skin, giving him goose bumps. The green alien sighed in pleasure and leaned harder against the other's body.

Back inside, Membrane had ordered two jumbo pizzas, thanks to Gaz and the two were waiting for the pizza and the two boys. Membrane checked his watch, slightly worried that Dib had been kidnapped or something. Gaz peeked up at him from her GameSlave and sighed. She stood and began to walked to the door.

"Gaz? Where're you going?" Membrane called after her, worried that she might leave him. She was known to do that.

"I'm going to see what Dib's doing. I'll be right back…" she muttered darkly, but happy that her dad had seemed worried for her.

Back outside Dib and Zim had already begun to tear themselves away from each other, Dib thinking that making out with another boy in public embarrassment and harassment. Zim thought they could just continue in the privacy of his home since Dib seemed reluctant to go on out here, that perv. They parted, but Dib still gripped Zim's hand in his own and Zim squeezed back. They suddenly smiled happily at one another and started to walk for Zim's freaky glowing house. And they skipped back home to live happily eveh AFTEH! (Oops, how's THAT get there?!)

But, they stopped dead cold when they heard Gaz's voice and remembered Bloaty's. Shit.

"Where the hell do you think you two are going?" her harsh words cut through Dib like a butcher knife to butter. "And holding hands I see. Zim, is that a hickey?"

Dib blushed and Zim reached up to his neck with a questioning look, but they didn't pull their hands away from each other. Dib couldn't have if he wanted to, Zim was holding his hand to tightly, though not enough to hurt.

"I don't see how any of that is _your_ business, you filthy Smell Beast." Zim growled and pulled Dib closer to his own body protectively. No one made fun of what was HIS. "It isn't as if you care for your Smarter-Than-The-Average-Human brother, now do you?"

Dib stopped and sighed. Did Zim just call him smart, or was he just hearing things?

"Smart? Him? He's NUTS, you senile freak. Aliens aren't real. Big foot, Yeti, Sasquatch, all FAKE. You go ahead and try to tell me otherwise!" she screamed, killing her brother's slight happiness. (Gawd, what a bitch. Ooops...don't mind the cussing!)

Zim glowered at the human and sniffed, "Oh, you shall see the **splendor** of an alien species. Just wait for the day to come and the Dib and I shall rise and **RULE** this world. There is no way to stop us, Dib Sister." he stopped at the look on Dib's face. His crushed broken look replaced by one of defiance.

"Oh, is that right?" Gaz mocked horror, "Oh NO! Aliens are ruling the world and now I wished I had listened to Dib!" she scoffed, "You're both _stupid_."

Dib gave his little sister a stony glare, "How can you say such things? You don't know the HALF of it!" he screamed, "I'm NOT crazy! I'm not and I've never been! AND MY HEAD IS NOT BIG!" he paused and said quietly, though loud enough for her to hear, "Zim and I will rule over this mediocre planet with an iron fist, letting most of the inhabitants to live for **slaves**." he sighed and looked her straight in the eyes, "Tell dad to eat with out us. There's more important business to be done then eating pizza with the **enemy**…" Dib trailed off as he let go of Zim's hand to place it on Zim's hip. He stood to the right of the shorter male and Zim leaned into the Dib's side.

Dib raised a hand in the air and said, "Next time you see me, lil' sis, I'll be on a throne next to the only one that had ever cared even the littlest bit for me…" the two turned back in the direction of Zim's house again and sidled down the barren street.

* * *

Rate and review! Pwaeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssssse? For da childwen? 


	15. Chapter 14

Once Dib was sure they were out of ear shot of Gaz, he said, "D'you think I'll need any clothes? Or, do you have any NORMAL human clothes. Ones that won't make me look…weird... Well, wierder then I already look." He ran a hand through his prized and precious lock of hair. All da aliens want it. Or was that, all da ladies want it? No matter.

"Well, SURrrrrrr-hur-hur-urrrrre. Why not? I don't wear them, too big and too filthy. You can have 'em, they're too HYOOMAN for Zim." Zim snorted and turned up his 'nose' at the thought of wearing even a shred of human clothing. Sick.

"Good." Dib gave a sigh of relief, pretty happy that he didn't need to go back to his house. That place were he'd been born and raised. A place where he'd been mistreated and mocked. A place where he was called insane. Never would he go back to such a horrid place. "Because I never want to see that place still standing again." he'd said it before he'd even got the change to think about it. Zim could take it the wrong way and burn it down for fun. Or hit it with a missile. But, why should he care anyway?

"Hm." Dib felt Zim tense up, as if he just noticed he'd been half hugging the human. "I'm not going to blow it up just because you said that. ZIM DOES WHAT HE WANTS!" Zim raised a fist in the air and quickly melted back into Dib. Quiet again as if he'd never even shouted into Dib's ear.

"Good." Dib melted and leaned into Zim, "I wonder what Gaz'll say to dad. Seeing us hold hands and all. Jeesh, I'm glad no one was around to see us...doing that."

"She'll say, 'Dibbles has gone ever crazier then before'. I see all." Zim spanned his arm out as he said, 'I see all' and grinned cheekily. "Yes, Zim knows of many, many things. More then you." he pointed.

Dib grunted, "I know things. I knew you were an alien, didn't I? And I learned that you're an Irken whose leaders are only taller then everyone else." he tapped his forehead with his free hand, "This brain can hold a lot of things, Zim. I know more then the average human should. Says so on my I.Q. test. 'Above Genius level' it said."

"Pfft, for HYOOMANS. For an Irken, you're…REALLY stupid." Zim grinned, "The stupidest Irken is smarter then the smartest human. It's a proven fact. I've done tests. With brainssssssssss."

"I…wouldn't doubt it." Dib sighed.

"Besides," Zim said, "What would've been so bad if someone had seen us...eh, what was it...sucking faces?"

Dib blushed and squeaked when Zim squeezed his hip, "B-because. We'd probably be run out of town. I think this place is really homophibic..."

"All the more reason!" Zim shouted, "What's it called..." he paused then jammed his fist into the air several time chanting, "Gay Pride, Gay Pride!" all da way hooooome

Finally, the green house loomed into view. The place where Dib had given up his dreams and sided with a demented alien. The two got to the middle of the sidewalk in front of the house before the door slammed open. Zim cringed, waiting for it. Dib just looked confused and he snaked his arm away from Zim.

"I'MA GONNA MAKE SOME TADERSSSSSS!" GIR came bounding out of the window, his green dog suit smeared with mashed potatoes and tarter sauce.

"SQUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Minimoose joined in happily. It's kyoot when he's insane.

GiR squealed as he landed on top of Dib's head and opened his head. A gallon of gooey gravy splattered onto Zim's head. Zim screamed in complete and utter anger and Dib kind of scooted away. He covered his mouth, trying not to laugh out loud. Atop of his head, GIR giggled insanely and MiniMoose squeaked innocently. The alien wiped a gloved hand across his brow, accidentally wiping off his lenses, shattering them to pieces. His blood-red eyes glowered at GIR. He ripped off his gravy matted wig and it made a squelching sound as it flopped onto the sidewalk. The gravy splattered onto his boots and pants and he howled in rage.

"You little MONSTER!" Zim growled and jumped for the robot, who managed to slip, with the help of the slippery tater sauce, out of Zim's grasp, "What did I tell you!?" he gasped as he landed onto his stomach, covered in the goop. Yuck, I hate tater sauce.

"HAHAHAHAHA! I do what I wants! I'ma REBEL, YO!" GIR landed on Minimoose's head and he grabbed the antlers tightly, "To the TACOS! Tacotacotacotacotacotacotaco!" Minimoose revved his engines and, in a puff of disgusting and polluting smog, they were off to TACO HUT. The 'fun', 'clean' and 'safe' environment for children.

"I swear that once he returns I shall REEK me REVENGE!" Zim paused and pulled out a clear thin glass filled with the sweet tangy juice, called Tang, from his PAK. "Because revenge is sweet and tangy with a nice tall glass of TANG!" Zim held He bent the straw and began to drink, his face blank. Hm. Random.

"Right…" Dib gave the alien an odd look and Zim gave him his blankest stare, licking his lips.

"Quite…" Zim said slowly, sucking at the drink noisily. With every little sucking motion, Dib cringed. "Anyway…" Zim gave Dib a sly look. "Come on in…" he then ran into the house, throwing his empty glass behind him and it shattered on the walk. The sun reflected off of the shards and Dib blinked slowly.

"Oh…uh…" Dib sighed and slowly made his way towards the door with a feeling that the rest of the day would just draaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag on by him. Like a slug. Or a turtle. No, a sea turtle on land. That's kinda slow, right? Dib rolled his eyes. It would probably be time to start helping Zim 'conquer' the Earth and get it over with. After that, Zim can do whatever he pleases with him. Whatever.

He touched the door knob and looked at the top of the door, the men's restroom sign staring back at him. The boy chuckled and opened the door. The lights were unusually dim and, where the couch was, sat a heart shaped bed. Dib swallowed nervously, this was what Zim had probably meant by, 'Fine, we can finish later then…'. Oooh, he should have looked further into it. Dib didn't think he was ready yet, though he had no idea how two boys would be able to…ya know.

Does Zim just want foreplay? Or does he want to go all the way? Things like this shouldn't be happening!! He clutched his head in complete panic. If he'd known this would've happened, he wouldn't have kissed the alien in the first place! Behind him, the door slammed closed and he heard the latch lock. Probably the computer's doing. That made him uncomfortable. Knowing Zim could be watching him from anywhere. But it was also kind of kinky, hehe. He grinned cattily, before venturing further into the room.

Quiet, too quiet. Yes. That cliché saying was true. It was WAY to quiet for Zim's base, even if GIR was gone. With all nervousness gone, having been replaced by excitement and fear, he ran his hand on the pink comforter of the bed. _Where the heck did Zim get a bed like that, anyway? _Dib thought. Suddenly, he felt his glasses slide off his face and the 'clink' of them being folded. Everything was a familiar blur, the bed, the wall, everything. He grumbled not so happily, not even realizing there was another color in the room.

Beside him, Zim grinned wickedly. You have to sneak up on your prey, then play with it before you swallow it whole. Hehe. The alien stepped behind Dib and pushed the boy onto the bed. Zim placed both hands on the bed and began to crawl slowly towards the Dib. He could practically taste the excitement in the air. Zim smacked his lips together, sucking in the air. Mmmm, tasty.

Dib yelped when Zim's gloved hands attacked his back and he found himself on the bed. He turned and saw the green blob inching his way towards Dib from across the bed. His excitement mingled with his fear and he found himself pouncing on top of the alien, who squeaked in protest. If Dib had anything to do with it, he wouldn't be on bottom. No one tops Dib! Besides, Zim was feminine as it was.

Under Dib, Zim scratched at the boy's shirt, tearing it completely off in shreds and dropping it off onto the floor. Dib yelped when the alien nicked his skin. Owies. Zim mumbled an apology and kissed the tiny wound. Dib shuddered at the warm lips on his chest and leaned down, hoping he could find the Invader's lips easily. Nope, he kissed Zim's cheek instead. Zim groaned, thinking the boy was just teasing, and captured the boy's lips. He tried to push the boy over so he could be on top, but the boy wasn't having it. Zim growled and nibbled on the sensitive skin near the base of Dib's neck. The boy let out a low grumble and he pulled away from the kiss, pulling at Zim's gloves desperately.

Inside of his head, Zim laughed triumphantly, even if him being on bottom wasn't what he had planned. Soon after Dib and himself had stopped this 'making out' thing, he had called the computer to set up a bed, he didn't care which, so that he and the Dib Slave could just hit the bed. He told the computer to make sure GIR wouldn't be there for at least a few hours. He was sure they'd be done by then. How sneaky Zim is, sneaky was kinky, so was manipulating, but most disapproved of such. Friggin' idiots.

Dib ran a hand up Zim's shirt, the other holding him above the other male. He pushed the striped, red shirt up to the Invader's armpits and sucked the bare skin on Zim's chest. The alien shuddered at the weird-good feeling. Dib bit Zim, then ran his tongue over the mark he had made.

"This would've been better in…public. Don you think, Dib Slave?" Zim whispered.

Dib stopped and blushed automatically. "Not that agaaaaaaain…" he whined. Then nipped Zim's bottom lip, biting it until he drew blood. He muttered a 'sorry' and lapped away the alien's blood. Dib thought back to earlier, remembering that he had thought the day would drag on. Well, he was right. But it's dragging on a really, really good way. The best kind, really.

Dib, half naked, let himself down and laid down fully on top of the Irken, who gasped in surprise. He leaned back a bit to look into the Irken's bloody orbs and snag a kiss from the alien's lips.

Dib practically licked at Zim's cheek as he talked, "Were you planning on…going all the way?" he breathed.

Zim squirmed under Dib, quite liking the position, but still wishing he was on top. "Maybe…" he licked the open skin on Dib's shoulder, then exhaled over it.

"Good. So was I…" Dib smirked to himself as he ran his hands down the Irken's smooth chest, past his navel and down the hem of the alien's pants.

He kicked off his boots before his slipped his hand into the mysterious sections. Kind of wondering if he had a…well, you know. (For contracting reasons, I can't say the word 'til they whip 'em out. If ya catch my drift, hehehehehe. Sex, is what I mean.) Zim followed suit and kicked off his own boots. Dib found what he was looking for and squeezed it delicately. Zim moaned and bucked.

"Think you're ready for a human, Alien Scum?" Dib asked cheekily, hand still gripping Zim.

Zim laughed throatily, "Think you're ready for an alien, Human Filth?

* * *

Uhm. This chapter was getting to long, so I cut it short. Sorry if the 'sex' scene was rushed, but it MY fan fiction. So, nya. I like the unexpected Zim wants it and Dib hadn't known he wanted it scenes. Yeah…I hope you understood that. 


	16. Chapter 15

**While Zim and Dim were starting at it!! --**

Gaz pounded her head against the glass doors of the restaurant and grumbled to herself.

"Why the hell were they holding HANDS? Aren't they enemies or something?" she gave a little kid that had run up to use the bathroom a dirty look and he bust out crying. She clucked and started for the other side of the room, towards Membrane, who sat waiting patiently for the pizza and Dib, who he'd probably never see again. That is, until Dib had shed any feelings he had towards humanity in general and decided to kill everyone. Maybe.

"Dad…" Gaz stared at her father, who seemed tense and uncomfortable in such a noisy and insane place and she felt a pang. An odd weird little pang in her heart and a hand flew up to steady it. But it wouldn't back down. It fought her for control, but she swallowed it back down to it's doom. "Dib…Dib is…" she watched her father look at her, almost like he was completely interested. Interested in what SHE had to say… "Dib decided he was going to Zim's house for a school project." she blurted.

"Oh.." he seemed disappointed. "Alright. Did he say when he was coming back home?"

"No. I think he's going to…" she swallowed thickly, hated that she had to lie for Membrane's sake of a sane mind, "spend the night. To work."

"Oh.." that word again, Gaz's head screamed. Not a good sign. "Alright…did he say he'd at least call?" Membrane seemed almost desperate to make sure that Dib was fine.

"No…No he didn't." she said, then murmured, "And doubt he ever will."

"What was that?" Membrane asked, giving her an interested look and making Gaz's heart almost rip to pieces.

"Nothing." Gaz said quickly, then pasted on her usual 'I'm gonna kill you' look and pulled out her GameSlave. "Is the pizza coming. I'm starving."

"It should be along…annnnnnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy minute now." the Professor looked at his wrist watch, how impatient.

"It better get here soon or I'll have to wring someone's neck…" Gaz muttered under her breath, making Membrane jump as the harshness of her tone. He gave her a stern glare, which she ignored while she glared at a happy little kid playing with a toy guitar nearby. The kid squealed in fright and ran back to a booth to him mami and papi. Gaz turned her head to look up at the counter.

Waiting makes Gaz wanna stab little children.

-----

Dib rolled his eyes and slipped his hand back out of the alien's pants. He stared down at the Irken, feeling an odd and growing sense of dread. For what, he had a good idea. Maybe he wasn't as ready as he had hoped he would be. He rolled off and stretched. Beside him, Zim whined. He moved to lay on his side and poked his Love Monkey on the shoulder.

"Dib Slaaaaaaaaaaaave!" Zim whined, then commanded, "I COMMAND we continue with the kissing! I liked it. Whatever I like, we do. No questions assssssked!"

Dib mumbled and put his hands onto his face. His head hurt now. He rubbed his hands against his face with a grunt, stretching the skin on his face out before it pulled back into its normal shape. Zim frowned at Dib's behavior and touched the boy's forehead. Not sick. What happened to his Love Slave?

"Deeeeeee-ib!!!" Zim whine louder, hoping to get a reaction. None. Dib just turned away, clutching his head.

"Will you stop that…" he grumbled, then turned to face the alien, "I don't think…I don't think I'm ready."

Zim gasped, all of his hard work down the drain. He frowned at Dib and said, "And to think I put all this stuff up so we could…well, you know!" he threw up his hands in frustration. "What, do you think I'm a miracle worker?"

Dib narrowed his glassless eyes at the green blob. He turned and reached for the brown blur and grabbed the clear-ish blur. He place them onto his face and looked around him. Zim had kind of gone all out. Guess he was serious about those kisses. But, they were just kisses, he'd just gotten caught up in the moment, right? All the excitement, standing up or himself and all. Maybe that was what had made Zim so compliant, to know that Dib WAS loyal. But maybe Zim had wanted it more then Dib did was weird. He turned to stare at Zim intensely.

"Why, Zim. Why do you CARE? Don't you just want to rule the world?" he demanded knowledge.

Zim blushed and stared at his ungloved hands. He flexed them, hating the feeling of helplessness he had throw himself into. I just needed comfort, Zim thought, I think… The alien risked a glance at Dib and immediately regretted it. Dib was looking at him intensely. That look just made Zim tense up and bite his lip so hard, he felt a bit of blood drip down his chin. He trembled and shook his head hard. Dib was probably right, this was stupid. All he wanted to do was take over the Earth. To…prove himself worthy. He looked up in surprise when he felt a finger wipe away the crimson blood away from his chin gently.

"Look…" Dib whispered, "I'm sorry. I just over reacted. I think I am ready. For anyone else, I would have waited…but I feel as if our time may just be limited somehow."

Zim blinked and reached up to grab Dib's hand. "Sure?"

That one word sent Dib back into his spiraling confusion place. Where up was black and east was white. A place where he'd always tried to escape from unsuccessfully. He shook his head and confirmed that he wanted what he wanted, "I'm positive…" Dib sniggered and rolled back on top of Zim, who pouted.

"No fair. I wanna be on top. I'M the one with the dominate personality. Besides, you look girly!" Zim growled, making an interesting point. Dib wasn't swayed.

"Well…" Dib said, sitting up to straddle the smaller male. Zim moved up to lean against his elbows. Dib stared at Zim before it came to him. "Okay. 1) You're SHORTER then me. 2) You have a really girly figure, girlier then me even." He laughed, then stopped, feeling as if he had just dissed himself as well as Zim. Was that possible? He shrugged and snapped his fingers three times, then said, "Beat that."

Zim narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to make a tart retort. But nothing came. He opened his mouth then closed it. "Fffffine…" he grumbled, before pulling the human down into a kiss. "But I'm still more dominate then you…" he mumbled into Dib's mouth. Dib smirked.

"I thi--" he was cut off as Zim slipped his tongue into his mouth. Dib's eyes widened as Zim had already began to advance on Dib. The boy (or man) frowned and pushed the alien down and away from his mouth. "Remember, I'M on top." he sang sharply, then bent down to trail a few kisses down the alien's sensitive neck to show him who's boss in bed. Take that, said every small, sweet kiss, Bam, bam!

Zim just squirmed, then moved to capture Dib's mouth on his own. Dib teased him by opening his mouth only a teeny bit, then closing it quickly. The shorter male whiiiiined and wrapped his arms around the taller in protest. Finally, Dib opened his mouth and they both tried to slip their tongues into each other's mouths, which cause their tongue to meet. Dib chuckled when Zim wrapped his thin tongue around Dib's humanly flat one. Feeling as if they didn't want to part for the silly thing called breathing, they started to breath in between kisses and bites and pinches. It had been Zim's idea. A good one in fact. Because since they were breathing, they had more energy. Oxygen is power! Use it always. While their tongues and mouths played, their hands went to work. Dib grasped Zim's pants, then hesitated. Did he really want to go there just yet? Not so much… so he just slipped his hand out and trailed it up the expanse of bare chest Zim owned.

When Dib had grabbed the hem of his pants, his heart (if he has one…) sped up, but dropped into his squeedlyspooch when Dib didn't go any further. Maybe He'd warm up to the idea when they got…hotter.

* * *

Eh?! Sooooo, what did any of choo ravenous fangirls think? -turns around to a cage of drooling and, oddly enough, ravenous fan girls- 

Fangirls: GIVE US _REAL_ SLASH!! You cheapskate!!

Me: ...Fine. Maybe...I might need help on that though!! Anyone who wants to help me, I have msn. If you have it too, contact me at HELP!

Anyway... **_REVIEW_** pleeeeaaaaaasssssse?


	17. Chapter 16

Zim grinned and trailed his tongue up Dib's throat, just to kiss Dib's mouth again. Dib slipped his tongue in first and the two let their tongues battle out who's really on top. While the human was distracted, Zim let his hands explore the small of Dib's back. It was a smooth expanse of delicious Dib skin, the best kind of skin. Without another thought, he raked his naked claws across the human's back, causing him to cry out in a mixture of shock, pain and pleasure. At first, Dib had thought it odd that he had enjoyed the pain, but then it began to make sense. No wonder he annoyed Zim all the time, he WANTED the alien to hurt him. With this new sense of reality, Dib pulled his mouth away from Zim's and bit the Irken's shoulder, wondering if it was the same for the alien.

Once again, just a bit harder, Zim raked his claws across Dib's back. This time, blood seeped out and over the fresh wounds. As payback, Dib bit the Irken's shoulder, hard enough to leave a bruise, not hard enough to draw blood. Zim mewled and placed his slightly bloody, and slightly burning, clawed fingers on the base of Dib's neck. He dug them in sharply as Dib sucked and licked his skin. It was…very nice. Very, very nice. Better then nice, better then conquering a whole planet, which was wonderful. Dib pulled his head back a bit to look at the mark he had made, a nice neat mark on the aliens green skin. Zim noticed this and touched the spot Dib was staring at appreciatively.

"What did you do, you stinking earthen meat?" Zim growled harshly, though there was no sound of real hatred in his voice.

Dib blinked, barely making out Zim's figure, but he had gotten used to seeing without his glasses quickly and he smirked. "Just marking what's…" he trailed off as he shifted and felt his back BURN. How could Zim claw at his back without him saying anything? It hurt like a son of a bitch. "Owww…" Dib said, and then buried his face into Zim's shoulder.

"Then I'll mark you as mine!" Zim cackled sadistically, and then moved to reach inside of his PAK. Thank Irk the bed had been one of those types that contour to your 'unique' body type, or Zim would've been in so much…but that's not important. In an ungloved hand, Zim held something that looked close to a Branding Iron with the Irken Invader symbol (the one with only one eye). It was already white hot, so Zim just had to press it against his Love Monkey's right breast. Then Dib would be HIS possession. "Dib-Worm!" Zim sang.

"Hmmm?" Dib mumbled, then moved and sat up, drunk in pleasure and drowning in a sea of stupid, "Want more…OWW!" He screeched as Zim pushed the Iron against Dib's naked chest. Once it was pulled back and deposited into his PAK, there was a burn mark on Dib's chest. In the shape of the Irken insignia.

All said, Dib was pissed. But he decided he'd take it out on Zim by relieving his sexual tension on the alien. Which was only a plus to the ordeal. Well, a plus for Zim (and the slash fan girls). The boy frowned and leaned down to mush his abused lips onto Zim's. They opened their mouths and Dib bit on Zim's tongue slightly, being rewarded with a gasp from Zim. Dib was shortly keening as Zim began to suck and lick and do other things to Dib's mouth, then trailed it down the human's throat.

Dib let a guttural growl leave his lips and he felt his body turn to jelly. He almost collapsed on top of his Irken Playmate, then whined when Zim moved and pushed Dib onto his back.

"ZIM is domineering…" Zim whispered into Dib's ear, then bit his earlobe.

Dib whinged, his bloody back touching the bed, and said, "So…what? I'M taller…" He wiggled on his back, then ran his hands around on Zim's back, pinching about.

Zim 'rolled' his eyes, and said, "You sound like the Tallest when you talk like that." into Dib's stomach.

"Idiot!" the Human whined, then closed his eyes tight as Zim teased him by tracing his fingers at the hem of Dib's pants. Dib cracked his honey eyes open and blinked, trying to see clearly. A futile effort, but valiant none the less. He grinned and reached out unsteadily as Zim moved up to kiss him again. The boy placed his thumb and index finger on the base of the alien's antennae, hoping to get a delicious reaction from him. And he was given just that. Zim keened helplessly and breathlessly, leaning into the touch.

"Mmmm…" Zim mumbled, then gave Dib an appreciative, albeit sloppy, kiss.

Dib's grin widened, it made Zim placated. Zim purred and Dib chuckled at the almost peaceful expression replacing the alien's usual insane expression.

"Looks as if…I've found a soft spot?" He taunted Zim, then released his grip on the alien's sensitive appendages.

Zim regained his composure and glared at the boy, who smirked gleefully. "Oh. Really?" The alien trailed his hand up Dib's stomach, stopping right under one of his nipples. Then reached up and squeezed one. Dib gasped and arched his back in shock and pleasure. "Oh, lookie here. The MIGHTY Zim has found a soft spot on his human as well. ZIM WINS!" He placed his other hand on the consecutive nipple and squeezed them.

"Z-Zim…" Dib mewled, and threw his head back. He knew he was growing harder by the second, if it was possible. Zim was the same, their erections creating such…delectable waves of pleasure course through their bodies. Zim was correct in Dib changing his mind. He grabbed Zim's hips and ground his onto his own. A collective gasp rang though the house. Dib shifted and soon he was on top again. Perfect.

The alien narrowed his blood-red pools called eyes and glared playfully, "Oh, Dib gets top again? How droll! WOE IS ZIM!"

"Oh, shut up and take your pants off." Dib said, beginning to pull off his own pants. Zim took the hint and began to struggle out of his pants. They both stared at each other's boxers for a minute and Dib blushed. "Ahem…how do we…"

Zim blinked, then bit his lip, "Zim knows many things but…"

"Oh…greeat." Dib sighed, then straddled Zim's hips.

"How do you normally do…IT?" Zim asked hesitantly, not used to asking for help. Not used to this situation is more like it.

"Um! Well…I…" Dib rubbed his neck, "Didn't you…go to Sex Ed?"

Zim propped himself up onto his elbow, moaning under his breath as their erections touched, then swallowed thickly, "I…wasn't able to go. I needed a 'parent's signature'! It probably would have helped in destroying you too…"

The human hung his head, suddenly bashful, "Well…Istickmyorganintoyourorifice." he took a relieved breath and ran his hands up and down Zim's chest, getting back into the mood.

The alien blinked, then said, "But…I'm not a…female…" then it dawned on him and he stuck up a victorious finger into the air, "ANAL SEX!!"

Dib practically fell over in a fit of blood rushing to his erection and his head, "Z-Zim!" he cried, "Do you have to say it like that?"

Zim ignored it and pulled Dib down hard atop him and they both hardened up once again. They kissed passionately and began to explore each others bodies, until Dib began to pull at Zim's boxers. Excited, Zim began to claw off Dib's, who wined about those being his only clean boxers, which Zim decided to ignore. Once they were…ahem, NAKED (teehee, I wrote naked. ß OH! Again!) Zim rubbed his erection against Dib's, who tried not to let his arms fall out from under him. Dib swallowed audibly, then gripped the alien's penis (;;) and pumped his hand lightly up and down. It was…weird to say the least.

The Irken moaned and thrust his hips against Dib's hand, trying to create more of the friction, but Dib just let his hand move with the thrusts. Zim whined and panted, clawing at the bed and shredding the hot pink comforter and sheets. Dib laughed at the alien's plight, not caring one bit if Zim decided he was sick of games. Oh, but the Irken was. With one last whine and pant, Zim jumped the boy.

"You're an evil HYOOMAN, you know that?" Zim growled, then bent over to lick Dib's cheek.

"So I've been told…" Dib bucked his hips and Zim shook his head no.

"Aren't we impatient?" the alien whispered into the useless appendages called ears.

Dib frowned, "Look who's…" Dib moaned as Zim began to kiss him gently and finished his sentence inbetween kisses, "talking…hypo…crite."

Zim pouted, then grinned, "Get over, Beast."

Again, taking the lead, Dib turned Zim onto his back. He swallowed thickly, and ran a finger down Zim's chest. Once near the alien's erect staff, he just passed it by and teased the Irken's entrance and Zim let out a startled moan. Thinking it over, Dib shoved three fingers into Zim's mouth, who looked at Dib curiously before sucking on them. After he was done, Dib pulled his wet fingers from Zim's mouth. Dib teased Zim's opening with slick fingers before sliding one in carefully.

The alien gasped out of pain, then moaned in pleasure as Dib pressed his finger further in.

"Like that?" Dib whispered tentatively.

Zim nodded slowly, sure that Dib didn't need to hear it. Dib pressed his swollen lips into a tight line as he pushed in the last two fingers and looked nervously up as Zim groaned at the intrusion. At long last, it seemed as if Zim was enjoying it, because the usual screaming alien was docile and malleable. After a minute, Dib made a scissor motion inside of the alien, who moaned. After a while, Dib smiled, as if happy he could give someone so much pleasure.

Dib swallowed thickly again and said, "R-ready for something…else?" the human blinked and blushed profusely.

With a quick intake of breath, Zim nodded and arched his back in pleasure. Dib slid his fingers out and positioned himself at Zim entrance. He paused, waiting for Zim to look him in the eyes and prepare. As Zim brought his hands up to squeeze the boy's shoulder, he also positioned himself to a point where he thought it wouldn't hurt. And in one quick fluid motion, Dib pressed his erection into Zim, who clutched Dib's shoulders, drawing blood, until the pain subsided into pleasure once more. Dib let Zim get used to it, waiting for a nod of the alien's head or a gesture. Soon, Zim nodded weakly and he quickly obeyed the silent command.

Dib pulled out a bit, then pushed back in, almost forgetting about Zim's erection until it rubbed against his abdomen. He felt bad, putting his own pleasure before the alien's. So he lightly gripped the staff and pumped his hand up and down. Zim moaned in ecstasy. He had known this was a good idea. A very good idea indeed. Oh, the pleasure they could give each other, if they wanted to.

Dib began to pant as he came to his climax. "Zim! I'm going to…" Zim nodded for him to go ahead, and so he did. But he didn't stop, he was waiting for Zim to also. It took Zim a bit more then just this, Dib realized. He grinned and pulled out of Zim's completely, exciting a moan of distress from Zim. Again, the human felt bad, but he was going to make Zim cum even if it meant drastic measures. Dib bent down and licked the tip of Zim's erection. He received a very strangled gasp as Zim arched his back.

Dib swallowed nervously and took it into his mouth. It wasn't as bad as he had expected it to be. He bob his head, up and down. Zim groaned and reached out to pull at Dib's head. But he was out of reach, so he continued to scratch up the bedding. What a waste. That didn't deter Dib any, though. Soon, Zim bit his lip.

"D-Dib…" he muttered and came into the human's mouth.

Without thinking about it, Dib swallowed. Then collapsed next to Zim.

* * *

Oh...cheese nips...I know. It's horrible! Freakish even... they don't even shout anything during it! lmao!! This was way creepy for me to write because I'm not used to writing stuff like this. Ah...well...

**_REVIEW_** and tell me how much you hated it or loved it. Same thing right?


	18. Chapter 17

**About seven in the morning --**

Gaz stared at herself in the blank screen of her GS2 as it slipped through scenes. Music blared up at her, almost drowned out by the sound of her brushing her teeth. She spit into the sink and washed the soapy saliva down the drain. Before stepping out, she glanced at Dib's toothbrush and sighed. He was still with the insane alien kid. Usually, that was a bad thing, but before she could think about it any longer, an odd music began to play and she looked at the console in shock. It'd never used that music before. A new cheat, new level?

But no. Neither of those things. Instead of the symbol for cheat codes and levels, it was shaped as a bomb. One of the small round black ones with the wick, which was currently on fire and burning down. She stared at it, before she shrugged and began to walk to the stairs, jumping down them two at a time. The game beeped as the fire neared the end, almost to the bomb's shell. Gaz paid it no mind, though, and she continued into the kitchen. Membrane was sitting in one of the table's chairs sipping black coffee.

Gaz sighed and poured herself a bowel of cereal, trying to ignore the weird feeling that something was wrong. She sat down and began to shovel the heart attack inducing too sweet cereal into her mouth. As she ate, she noted that every few seconds, her father glanced hurriedly at his wrist watch. Every time the wind hit the door just right, Membrane would jump and ask, "Was that a knock at the door? I think I heard a knock at the door."

"Dad…" Gaz began, suddenly wondering what was up with him. "What's got your panties in a bunch?"

Membrane rubbed the ridge between his eyes and sighed, "Do we have any cigarettes in this house?"

Gaz blinked in confusion, "I thought you quit."

"I did…I'm just really stressed. Do we have any?" He tapped his ungloved fingers against his forehead.

The girl sighed and stood, walking towards the cabinet where she had hid her cigarettes when she was smoking. Sure, she'd been pretty young, fresh out of middle school, but she wanted that badass image. One thing led to another and it led right back to where she used to be. She reached the counter and took off a piece of the wood, pulling out one cigarette and quickly replacing the cover. Gaz straightened herself out and sidled over, handing Membrane the cancer stick and sitting back down.

"Good…" Membrane pulled a light out from under the table, apparently knowing that Gaz had smoked before. He lit the cigarette and sucked in heavily, closing his eyes. He breathed out as he began to talk again, "Why would your brother just leave like that?"

Gaz closed her eyes and said, "He thinks we don't care about him…I think he might be right."

Membrane snapped open his eyes. "Doesn't think we care? Why would he think that?"

His daughter frowned, "Oh, I don't know." she mocked, "Maybe because we don't tend to him, don't tell him we love him, don't ACT like we want him around and don't listen to him."

Membrane frowned and leaned back, running a hand through his thick scythe. He chewed on the filter a bit before he said, "Maybe…maybe we were a bit…**harsh**."

Gaz rolled her eyes and mumbled angrily. "Yeah, _harsh_."

The man frowned at her and said, "What do you want me to do about it?! I wish I could do something!"

"Then why don't you!!" Gaz stood and pointed at him, "You don't do anything except science things!" She mocked him, pointing one finger in the air, "REAL SCIENCE this and REAL SCIENCE that!"

Membrane stood, pulling his cigarette out of his mouth to hold between his fingers and opened his mouth to yell, when the GameSlave began to beep over and over consistently. The two stopped and stood slack, staring at it. The bomb was glowing red now, the wick entirely burnt off. Soon enough, the whole GameSlave began to tremble.

"What is that piece of garbage doing?" The professor asked, suddenly alarmed.

Gaz swallowed thickly, "I-I don't know!" The noise grew louder, horribly loud. Sharp ringing. Gaz dropped it, clutched her ears and backed off, hitting the wall behind her. Membrane grunted and shoved his cigarette into his mouth, backing off with his hands clamped over his ears as well.

"I know…I know what that is! That's a bomb!!! Where did you get a freaking **bomb** shaped like a game!" Membrane gave his daughter a hasty glare, before staring at the GameSlave again.

"B-but!! It wasn't a bomb when…" she trailed off, remembering Zim had fixed it. He'd placed a bomb in there! She felt herself start to shake, "Oh, God. Are we going to die?"

Membrane sputtered indignantly and chewed at his end of the cigarette, "No! I can make sure it only explodes in a smaller radius then it was originally set! You, get out of the house and run at least twenty to thirty feet away." When she just stood there, staring at him, trembling with unwanted fear, he pointed at the door, "GO!"

Gaz jolted and dashed from the kitchen, looking back as her father slowly approached the rigged GS2. She opened the door, and turned in the direction of Zim's house. Even though she'd only been there maybe once of twice, she never forgot where it was. Maybe she had never listened to her brother and maybe she had never liked her brother, but she knew that she didn't want him dead. Suffer a bit, yes, but not die. She just hoped Zim wouldn't do anything to Dib.

And she kind of hoped her dad wouldn't become human pizza that would splatter across what would be left of their house.

**About seven-thirty --**

Zim cackled as he watched the hyooman Membrane try to reconfigure the bomb. It was **useless**!! An Irken bomb cannot and will not be deactivated by a worthless human, even if it was one as smart as the professor. Behind him, Dib snuggled down in the sheets more, his face nudged into one of the shredded pillows. Zim gave the whole scene a dry look. He couldn't believe what he let that horrible stink meat do to him. At the time it seemed like a great idea, but when you think about it the next day, maybe it wasn't the best decision. But that was okay, because now he knew the Dib Monkey wouldn't betray him now. It was perfect.

As Zim laughed at the screen of the monitor, Dib squirmed and tossed comfortably in his sleep. He opened his eyes slowly and smiled as what he had done shifted into his mind. Before getting up, Dib hugged one of the sweet smelling pillows. He stood and noticed that he was already clothed. Either Zim must have slipped them on, or he had slipped them on before he fell asleep. Nothing he could remember doing. Not that it mattered. Dib stretched silently and sighed breathlessly.

"Hey, Zim. What're you laughing at?" he asked, walking over to stand by his 'master's' side. Zim jumped and quickly shut off the monitor.

Zim chuckled and said casually, "Nothing that your little human brain would be able to comprehend, Dib Monkey."

Dib frowned, but wrapped his arms around Zim's shoulders anyway. Zim stiffened as Dib buried his face into the alien's soft skin. "Hey…what happened to that bomb anyway?"

"Bomb? What bomb?" Zim grinned, relaxing into Dib's touch.

Dib sighed, "The one you put into Gaz's GameSlave. Remember? You said it would blow up in 12 hours. It's been past 12 hours. Has it blown up?"

The Irken blinked and said, "Yes. Yes it has."

Dib stood up straight, pulling Zim back into his arms, "Are they…dead?"

"I don't know…" Zim yawned, then hmphed, "I hope so because if not, I want a refund."

"Where'd you get it from, anyway?" Dib tapped the alien's forehead.

Zim shifted, "From Prisoner 777. He helped make the Massive, you know."

"Hmmm…" the boy leaned over and kissed the tip of Zim's antenna. "Okay then."

A knock at the door sent the two jumping up, startled. They looked at each other, then started for the door. Creeping up, Zim placed his hand on the door and it turned transparent. Outside stood a very angry/scared Gaz. To say the least, Dib was freaked.

"I thought you said they were **dead**!!" Dib whispered harshly, backing away from the door.

Zim removed his hand and clutched it to his chest as if the sight of Gaz had burned it, "I thought they had, okay!"

Gaz began to pound the door and scream, "I swear, if you don't open this door Zim I **will** make sure that nobody finds your body!"

Zim looked at Dib and the boy nodded, before diving behind the bed. The alien sighed and quickly threw on his disguise. He opened the door and Gaz growled at him. She jumped and landed on top of him, fist reared for action.

"I know it was you Zim!!" Gaz sputtered and gripped the alien's collar. "You flippin' asshole!!" she let her fist go limp and Zim ground his claws into the tiled floor. Behind him, Dib stood up and ran over. He helped Gaz stand, then led her to the door.

"Get out, Gaz." He gave her a look and she just stared at him.

Gaz shook her head and stepped out, "I can't believe you, Dib."

"Why's that?" Dib asked, trying to shut the door with Gaz's foot in the way.

"Dad's dead!! Dead, dead, dead, dead!" she stared at him hard, trying hard to fight back the tears. "Zim killed him! Why are you still in there with that horrible thing!!"

Instead of the grimace and crying Gaz had expected…Dib smiled. "Dead? Really? Good, Zim did a good job." his eyes held a slight insane light, one that had never been there before. "Perfect…" he purred sweetly, "If only we could have gotten rid of you too. Oh well, next time I suppose." and he slammed the door closed in her face.

She let the tears pour freely as she turned to face the still smoking and fresh destruction.


	19. Chapter 18

Dib pounded his fists on the door, and on the other side, Gaz had already gone out to check the wreckage with a few other people that were lucky enough to be twenty feet away when the bomb went off. Zim propped himself up onto his elbows. They were silent for a few moments. The whirring and curning of gears emmiting from the computer gave Zim a vague feeling of comfort, while it felt foreign to Dib; very unsettling. It was really just a reminder... The Irken blinked and sat up, cross legged. It was too quiet for him; he was used to the crazy howling of GIR and the insane squeaking of MiniMoose. The Slave won't always be such an emotional wreck, right?

"Z-Zim…" Dib whispered, catching the disguised alien's attention. Zim almost reared back at the completely haunted and insane look the boy's eyes held. "I…I can't believe myself!" He began to laugh; a "I'm not crazy, but right now I feel like it" giggle that sent chills through Zim's spine (if he has one).

Zim stripped himself of his disguise. "What do you mean you can't believe it?" he stood and took one step towards the human cautiously.

"Gaz…I've always protected her. Or…I'd like to think I've protected her." Dib's eyes welled up with tears, and even though he was wearing glasses, his vision became blurry. "She's going to die, isn't she Zim? She'll be **dead** like my father and everyone else, huh?!"

This sent Zim walking backwards towards the bed and he collapsed onto it. Dib breaking down was **not** in the plan. Dib wiped his eyes, trying to erase the fact he still loved human kind, even though they did such cruel things to him. A human heart can take so much more then what others can throw at it; it can break easily, it doesn't heal easily, but it will always be full of love. The honey glazed eyes looked at Zim, desperate for comfort, but unsure if the 'hardened alien soldier' would give him enough to suffice for his weak human emotions. Zim's blood red orbs shot through Dib's skull, piercing it with just a gaze.

"Yes, Dib."

Dib reared back, almost forgetting the question he had just recently asked and that there had been no attatchments onto his name. It was true, then. Zim was going to kill every last one of them and Dib had to help and watch.

"They're all going to die a horrible death, it'll be short, but excruciatingly painful." Zim took on an uncaring tone and he began to pick at his claws. "Oh, it'll be dreadful. Well, dreadful for them, I mean. We'll be safely tucked away as they all suffer."

A grin found its way onto Zim's face, the usual insane grin that he used when he was being evil. Dib just collapsed to his knees and held back a sob. No use in crying now, he'd already given away his freedom and the earth to Zim, not to mention Dib gave the alien his body.

"We'd better get to work, Slave Dib."

Slave before Dib. The boy couldn't tell if it was a demotion because he was now Slave Dib. Was it good or bad? Did it matter?

"Say, 'Yes, Master Zim', like a good Slave Dib."

Dib glanced up at the alien, eyes of stone. Zim just widened his grin, loving the way he had such control over his slave…well, thought he had control over the human.

"Y-yes…" Dib cringed, almost as if it hurt him to say just that one word and he reached up to touched the burned on mark from last night, "Do I have to…?" Zim gave him a look and Dib frowned, then mumbled, "Yes Master Zim…"

"Perfect…" Zim practically purred, loving the way the words rolled off the human's tongue. "Come…we have much work to do."

Dib stood weakly. Not that he was tired, just put out. Nothing was going according to how he wanted it to go. After last night, he had hoped Zim would've given up on taking over the Earth, but now he seemed as eager as ever. Besides that, Zim seemed to want to abuse his new found powers over the human, who sure wouldn't take it for too long. Zim was an idiot to think that Dib would be totally loyal. Now that they had relieved the sexual tension, Dib felt almost better about back stabbing the alien. But he knew he could never possibly do it. Not now, at least, the blow from the night before was fresh in his mind and he was sure he'd carry the memory forever. If not a memory, a scar.

And he wasn't sure if that was good or bad. Zim frowned at Dib's sluggish behavior. He wanted to ask what was wrong, but he didn't want to seem weak in front of his only slave. No wonder Dib was unruly, though. He'd never been through the slave training that's usually given to the normal slaves who were taken mostly by force, the ones who had less then a choice. Yet, for some reason, Zim couldn't bring himself to act upon those righteous slave codes set by the unmerciful Control Brains. Zim turned and began to goose-step towards were the couch would usually sit. He pressed a button that appeared on the bed and it lifted easily. The shaft was hollow, until the platform appeared to carry the two down. Zim stepped onto it.

"Slave Dib, come."

It was overly formal for Dib's taste, but he complied.

"Where's GIR and MiniMoose at, Zim?" Dib whispered, almost unhappily. He needed a pick-me-up and the two robots usually made him smile.

Zim grinned widely, quite happy that the two were gone. "Away. For now, unfortunately. They won't be able to mess with the extraordinary plan we have cooked up for the **horrible stink meats** that litter this **horrible **_**dirt**_** planet**."

Dib hummed and sighed, then leaned against Zim, hoping to get the comfort he so needed as a human. Zim just adjusted so that they were both comfortable, Dib's head on his shoulder. It wasn't much, but it helped Dib slightly. Too soon, though, they arrived at their destination. A work bench littered with chemicals and other things was already set up.

The alien waved a gloved hand towards it, "I had the Computer rig this up just before that horribly filthy creature knocked on my door."

"Oh, really?" Dib said, teetering on sarcasm, but he leaned harder against the alien, who was becoming increasingly uncomfortable.

"So, let's get started, shall we?!" Zim pushed Dib back slightly and rushed towards the chemicals, leaving Dib behind to saunter slowly after him.

Dib looked at the chemicals with slight interest, unable to stop himself from looking at the labels. Some very deadly and potent illnesses. It almost frightened him. Zim could have used any of this stuff before, but why hadn't he? Didn't the alien know how to deal with these types of human chemicals? The boy swallowed audibly and Zim gave the table a satisfied smirk. Dib frowned and touched the table lightly, it was an autopsy table, which also gave him goose-bumps. Had Zim been planning on…cutting him open? It was unlikely, but Dib never knew what to expect from Zim. Never.

Zim lifted one of the vials into his hand and examined the label. "Here is the Vortion Soup. Hahaaaa, dangerous little thing, well, for dirt monsters. Like you, Dib Slave."

Dib rolled his eyes from behind his glasses, "Uh-huh. I was thinking…if it's so powerful by itself, can't we just put it in an aerosol can and spray in on people?"

"Hum, but will it be any good by itself, though? I mean, I gave the subject a pretty heavy dose." Zim tapped his lip and Dib felt great that Zim looked like he was actually considering his opinion. He wanted more of it.

"Urr, we could pair it up with…acid. The really potent kind, the kind that just a bit of it will melt human flesh." The human looked up at Zim's little shout of 'AHA!' and smiled when Zim gave him an evil look.

"That's PERFECT!" the alien paused, his look frozen, then blank. "Wait, where can I get acid?"

Dib sighed.


	20. Chapter 19

"Were are those stolen chemicals you told me about?" Dib mumbled, running a hand through his silky hair.

Zim watched as the hair reflected the glaring lights from above and he fingered the vial carefully. "They're under this table…I thought I'd need them soon." Dib nodded and reached under the table.

Dib pulled a huge box out and he began to shift through them. "Have any aerosol cans, at all?"

"Meh, somewhere in there." Zim sat down the vial and rubbed his claws against his uniform uncaringly. _Wonder if I could get this suit dry cleaned anytime soon…_

Dib pulled out an aerosol can and a vial of acid. There was one thing about the vial that jump started something in him. "Ah! This acid must be some very potent stuff! This is a _hand made _glass, specially suited for this liquid. This is going to be such a blast!"

Zim looked, eyes wider then usual, at Dib. "I never thought that you'd be so…_excited_ to be destroying mankind. Are you sick or something?"

"Oh…heh…um." Dib placed the vial carefully onto the table, next to the vial of Vortion soup. "Sorry. It's just that I haven't worked with chemicals in quite a while…" A growl rose up from Dib's stomach and Dib abandoned the can to clutch his stomach. "Not to mention I haven't eaten in a while either…"

The alien sniffed, "What's with you humans, every other day it's food, food, food." He looked at Dib smugly, knowing his advantages. "If you want to eat, you have to beg for it."

Irritated, Dib glared at Zim. "What makes you think I'll _beg_?" He stood up, looking down at Zim.

"Because!" Zim sang, "I own all of the food in this house and you're my slave. Remember?"

Dib narrowed his eyes. "That's not a very good point…but…fine then." Dib grinned and wrapped his arms around Zim's shoulders. He pulled the alien closed to his chest, who struggled.

"D-Dib Face!" Zim protested, not usually liking close contact. "Your Master orders you to--"

He was cut off as Dib tilted the alien's chin and planted a kiss on his lips. "Please Master Zim…?" Dib pouted and petted Zim's antenna. Zim held back a purr and he struggled futilely.

"Hmph." Zim stopped and rubbed his head along Dib's collarbone, nipping a bit here and there. "Fine. But right after, we mix the chemicals together…" He rubbed his head into Dib's hand, "And…stop touching Zim's antenna when he doesn't say you can."

Dib smirked in triumph, he won, and with less groveling then Zim had expected too. That's what Dib called a successful mission. Happily, Dib licked Zim's neck, then pulled away. The alien started for the couch elevator, dragging Dib along by his hand. Dib's stomach gurgled hungrily and he placed a hand over his tummy. With a dour expression, Dib said, "Ugh, I hope you have something that doesn't contain soap."

"Yeah, you wish." the alien sniggered, stepping into the elevator. He pulled the human in with him. "What's wrong with soap. It'll clean your horrible filthy insides."

"No it won't! It'll kill me!" Dib cried, covering his stomach with his hands.

_Soap can KILL hyooomans? Hehehehe…_ Zim grinned maliciously to himself, and Dib sunk back.

"What's with that face?" He asked, feeling the urge to punch something. Usually, when Zim gave him that face, he either A) ran away or B) punched him. In an elevator, he couldn't run away and he didn't wanna start a fight in such an enclosed space. Suddenly, he didn't feel like giving up on earth was such a great idea. Not that he had thought it was a good idea in the first place…

"Feh. What look?" Zim rolled his crimson eyes, "Zim gives no _looks_."

Dib blinked and just listened to the churning of gears as the platform whirred upwards. A thought came to mind. "Can this elevator move sideways?" It was practically confirmed by the tunnels carved into the sides of the walls.

"Duh, of course!" Zim scoffed, seemingly offended. "Don't all elevators?"

Without meaning to Dib pulled Zim into an embrace. "No, actually. Surprisingly so, too."

Muffled by the human's shirt, Zim's voice was clearly irritated, though it wasn't sharply so. "Zim didn't say you could touch him…" Yet, he made no move to get away. For a tense moment, Dib debated letting the alien go, but once the Irken melted into his arms, he decided not to. As the whirring of the machine faded, only Dib noticed they had arrived in the front room of the decoy house. Apparently, Zim had ordered the computer to get rid of all of that…pink and red. Even the bed was gone and for some reason, Dib was kind of disappointed.

"Are we there yet?" Zim mumbled, rubbing his face into Dib's chest. He looked up at Dib, his eyes clouded over.

Dib really didn't want to tell Zim that they were there. The look on Zim's face was just too…priceless. He felt something he thought he'd never feel for the alien. Even after they had…well, you know, he didn't think it was about love at all. Zim just confirmed it with his nonchalant attitude. But his feeble human mind wanted him to believe that Zim loved him. Dib closed his eyes to slits, then pressed his lips full forced against Zim's. Before Zim could pull away, Dib pressed the alien up against the wall.

"Yeah, we're here." Dib whispered, his lips brushing against Zim's.

Zim swallowed thickly, placing his hands against Dib's chest. Applying just a bit of pressure he closed his eyes tightly. "What are you doing to your Master?" It was more of a question then Dib had hoped for.

Before closing the gap, Dib smirked. "You know you love this. No need to lie to yourself." He captured Zim's lips.

"D'AWWZ, now ain't that just…KYOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!" GIR giggled, swinging his metallic legs back and forth. The purple moose from underneath him squeaked in agreement. Yet it eyed Dib warily. Apparently MiniMoose was much smarter then the SIR unit.

Dib sighed and pulled away. _Dang it_, he thought, _So close, too_. He jutted out his lower lip and glared at the two robots. Oh, he hated them sometimes.

Zim seemed to snap to his senses and he shook his head, the antenna upon his head swaying slightly. Standing up as straight as he could, as to win back some lost dignity, because you all know he hates being on bottom (but it's just to fun for him not to be). He wiped away some imaginary dust, casting a heated glare at Dib. "I hope you'll control yourself next time, Dib _Slave_." Accentuating the slave part was supposed to make the human feel bad.

"We'll see." The human smirked, triggering another glare from his _Master_. "Okay, I'll _try_ to control myself next time. No promises, though." He sang.

GIR watched Zim glare and Dib cast amused glances at his Master. "I hungwy, Mini." GIR screamed and MiniMoose floated into the kitchen. Remembering what they had come up for, Dib hurried in after them, ready to eat anything.

"Hey, GIR, do you think you have anymore of that pocky? That stuff was great. OH, and chicken soup. I love chicken soup." Dib called, his head already in the fridge.

GIR giggled. "YESH! Wait, I mean. I DIDN' STUDY FOR 'DIS TEST!"

Dib pulled out a plate full of food, which he sat on the table. "What're you making, GIR? Do you need anything?"

"Er…yesh! Ah need…cake mix, ice creeeeeeeeeeam and…and…chocolate syrup!"

"Right, right." Dib mumbled, taking out a can of ice cream and the chocolate syrup. GIR grabbed them and threw them into the huge pot of boiling water. Dib threw the cake mix he found at GIR, who just batted it into the pot.

MiniMoose squeaked happily, reminding Dib of the maid outfit. Instead of laughing, Dib threw his hands over his nose. A bit of blood dripped between his fingers.

Zim sat down, glancing at MiniMoose, before cocking a brow at Dib, who blushed at the sight of Zim.

This told MiniMoose all he needed to know. It squeaked accusingly at the human who shrugged, his face now beat red.

Zim put his head in his hand. "What'd that floating rodent say _now_?"

* * *

CAKE PLEASE!... I mean, yay, new chapter! 


	21. Chapter 20

"N-nothing! Heh… Anyway, I was thinking…" Dib blushed, trailing off as he sat down and twiddled his thumbs absent mindedly, still seeing Zim in the maid outfit.

Zim frowned as soon as Dib didn't finish his sentence. "Uh-huh… Go on. Zim is all, eh, antenna." The alien waved his hand idly for the human to continue talking.

The teen tittered, then snatched a left over chicken leg off of his plate and shoved it into his mouth. Disturbed by this new sight, Zim made a face and pulled back just a bit. Dib chocked down some meat, then coughed into his hand. He couldn't believe he was going to suggest it, but…

Dib's blush faded to just a tint. "So, um, maybe we should think about how we're going to get this stuff into the population." As slowly as he could, he took another bite, wondering vaguely what kind of chicken he was eating. It couldn't have been from the Greasy Chicken Bucket, it wasn't greasy enough, definitely not from Niblets either. Not as if it mattered, but it would've been nice to know.

Zim sat quietly for a moment, thinking, as indicated by the slightly vibrating antennae. G.I.R. was humming a song about steak on a wall and MiniMoose was squeaking in harmony. All the while, Zim just sat uncharacteristically quiet. "EUREKA!" It was short lived, though. "This could be my most awesome plan yet! I have a plan of attack now. Perfect! I'm GENIUS!"

"Care to elaborate on that, Mr. _genius_?" Dib asked, as he began to shovel whatever was on his plate into his gullet. Not even taking a long enough to glance at what it was, Dib shoved a spoonful of some goop into his mouth and swallowed without chewing to much. Hey, he was hungry!

"Oh, right. We can either attack from the bottom up, or from the top down." Explaining himself was never his forte, but he decided it would be best for everyone if he gave it a try.

Always the understanding one, Dib rolled his eyes. "Oh, wow, that cleared a lot up. No, please, if you explain anymore my head may _explode_." Obviously being sarcastic, Dib just continued to eat and watch as Zim's face contorted into a half hearted spiteful look.

The alien's slight glare lessened as he actually looked at what Dib was throwing down his throat. Almost as if the alien wsa afraid of whatever Dib was eating would attack him, Zim hesitently opened his mouth. "What is that?" He asked, quite disgusted.

Dib paused, a spoon half way to his mouth. He took the spoon and took a look at it. "You know…I don't really know. I think this might've been chicken or something." He shoved the grayish blob into his mouth.

"You don't know what it is…and you're eating it." Zim said, placing one hand upon his hips and using his other to point accusingly. "You just practically proved my point! HYOOMANS are filthy, disgusting creatures!!"

Instead of getting mad, Dib snickered slyly. "At least I don't wear French maid outfits…"

Angrily, Zim thrust a finger into Dib's face. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"It _means_ I don't wear _French maid_ outfits, not even if I was in desperate need of money." Scoffing, Dib stood up to tower over Zim, who jumped up onto a chair, not to be out done.

"If that's so, why do I always see you wear such tight clothes! Might as well be female if you're going to wear female clothing." Zim grinned at what he thought was surely a triumph.

Dib jumped up onto the chair he had been sitting in, so now the table was the only thing separating them. "Uh-huh. At least I don't wear black tights and a dress." The human pointed at Zim's clothes with a snort. "And you're calling _me_ a girl."

Zim hopped up onto the table, closely followed by Dib. They stood in the middle of the table, glaring, their foreheads touching. They were at a stale mate and it seemed as if nothing would stop them from attacking the other...

"These aren't _tights_ and my shirt isn't a _dress_." Zim hissed menacingly, shifting a foot, ready to kick the human.

"Could've fooled me." Dib growled and clenched his hand into a fist once he saw Zim's foot move.

Dib pulled his hand back as Zim began to shift his weight to one side, then... G.I.R., who had dived into his pot, poked his head out and giggled. "Twen'y bottles o' steak sauce on deh wooooaaaalll! YEAH!" MiniMoose chimed in with a long, shaky 'squeak'.

Both Zim and Dib gave the two robots a wierded out look, dropping their arms and legs. Dib frowned and threw one last glare at Zim before hopping down off the table. Being the one who usually makes everything better, Dib sighed and tapped his forehead, trying to calm down. "I actually think your dress and tights look good on you…"

Taken off guard, Zim just accepted the compliment. "Uhm, sure…I like your tight, female garments too."

"Cool…because I had been wondering…" Dib turned around quickly and spat it out before he could stop himself. "Have you ever thought of using that maid outfit for a disguise or anything?"

Zim blinked, still up on the table and made a face. "No! Why would I ever want to wear that...that _thing_ again?"

"Because its kinky?" Dib said, then slapped his hands over his face. _Oh my God…_ he thought and blushed.

The banished invader narrowed his eyes. "What is it they call people like you…" Zim muttered, licking his thin lips. "A pervert. You're a huge pervert, DEEEEB!"

Now that the cat was out of the bag, Dib sighed. "Oh, and you're not? Besides, wouldn't you just wear it just one for me?"

"NO! Neverrrrrrrrr!" Zim shouted, pointing a finger in the air for emphasis.

Not willing to give up, but willing to wait for now, Dib just rolled his eyes and murmured, "We'll see…" then clapping his hands together loudly to cover it up.

Zim sniffed, sensing the argument was over…for now. "Anyway…back to what's _really_ important… Don't you think Gaz would try to tell someone we were the one's who planted the bomb?"

"…" Dib bit his lip. _She probably would_…_Wait, I should say that out loud so Zim can hear me_. "She probably would."

A malicious grin crept up onto Zim's face. "I think that maybe the Mem-Bot would be perfect for this, wouldn't you think?"

"The robot that looks like my dad? Wouldn't people be…no, wait, I think you're right." Dib smirked, Zim had actually been thinking whilst they had been fighting. What a weirdo. "People are stupid, they wouldn't notice the difference, plus, we could work from the inside out, that way!"

"Genius, I know!" Zim grinned modestly, then pulled a remote type thing out of his PAK. There were two big buttons on it, as well as the normal buttons with Irken letters on them. One of the buttons were green, the other was red. The writing on the buttons were in Irken, but he had a good idea which was which. "At the push of this GO button…" Zim's finger hovered over the green button, "The Mem-Bot will come to life and go to the crash site to say he made it out alive and get rid of our little nuisence."

Dib walked over and stood behind Zim. He snaked his arms around Zim's waist and pulled the alien into a kind of backwards hug. "I see…" Zim was giving him a few seconds to think about it, but that wasn't what Dib needed. The human placed his right hand over Zim's gently. As both of them smiled none too nicely, their fingers mashed the button hard. Dib twisted the Irken's head around a bit and captured Zim's lips on his own.

As their embrace grew into a hug, the Mem-bot rushed from its hiding place. It was a bit dusty, but nothing that couldn't be fixed. The robot held no expression, but it ran out of the house with a sense of urgency. He had to get to the bomb sight before Gaz tried to tell someone…


	22. Chapter 21

-1Gaz felt sick to her stomach. Dib had betrayed his race and his family, for…for _Zim_, the one that was bent on world -- no, universal -- conquest. Oh, she knew Dib was insane, but _this_? The girl touched her torn hip, feeling how sore it was after she had fallen on the way back to the bomb sight. Someone, she had to tell _someone_ who hid that bomb in her GS2, none of the survivors believed her… She spotted a rescue worker that was digging through the rubble, apparently looking for something, but, he was just what she was looking for. Swallowing her 'fear', she mustered up her courage and plastered on her hateful look, but it broke down as she neared the man. The burn in her hip was edging on unbearable, but she finally made it to the man.

"Sir! Sir, I know who did this…" Gaz said as forcefully as she could and the man turned around to look at her dumbly. An annoyed sigh escaped her lips. "I'm _Membrane's_ daughter. Ya know, Gaz."

The man seemed to finally recognize her, his face lighting up in excitement, as if he had just found gold or a precious gem. The professor would be pleased indeed. "OH! Was your brother in there when the bomb went off? He's who we're looking for…" His voice was high and crackly, which was odd for such a seemingly huge fellow. That was also when Gaz glanced around, seeing no other workers there, why would he say we? She shook her head to clear her muddled mind.

She hesitated, but spilled it. "No, he wasn't there because he _did_ this. Well, Zim did it, but Dib helped." It was hard to express it in words and she managed to make herself sound just like Dib had when he explained about Zim.

"_DIB_ planted a bomb in your GameSlave?" The rescue worker said doubtfully, catching onto the insane way she said it.

Frustrated, Gaz pulled her hair frighteningly hard. "NO! I mean, Zim did it, but I think it might have been Dib's idea, or something. And…and I know where they are right now."

"Well…okay, if you're sure, come with me little girl." The man rubbed his neck and the two walked towards a tent not to far away. "We found your father, but he doesn't seemed scratched up at all, you sure he was near the site?" He said as they walked into the tent.

Gaz looked at him oddly, fixing him a hateful glare as she trailed next to him. "Yes. Yes, I'm _positive_ he was there. I _saw_ him! He had tried to diffuse the bomb…"

The man just shrugged uncaringly, and then opened the tent. The girl stepped in and was mildly surprised the rescue worker didn't follow her in. A quick look around the tent told most of what she needed to know. In a corner of the tent stood a tall man wearing a long white coat. His arms were folded behind his back in a professional manner.

Gaz cleared her throat hoarsely, and then spoke up. "Dad?"

The man turned slightly to get a good look at the intruder, which was also how Gaz was able to see who it was and she was filled with relief. "Oh my God, dad, I thought you were _dead_." Relieved and tired, Gaz dropped to her knees, smirking weakly. "I knew Dib didn't have the guts to kill you…" When the man didn't answer her, she finally took notice that Membrane was wearing his coat and the goggles covered his eyes once again. It was odd. He wasn't dressed like that when the bomb went off, and the clothes he had in the house would've been destroyed. And he wouldn't have had time to go to the lab to change either. That rules everything out. "D-dad?"

Membrane turned all the way around, facing the confused preteen full on. "Yesss, I am your poor departed daddy, aren't I?" He laughed cruelly, his shoulders shaking melodramatically.

"Why're you talking like that?" Gaz demanded, standing, albeit unsteadily thanks to the hot sharp sting that shot from her right hip throughout her body. Rigidly she stood her ground as the man walked towards her mechanically and she felt as if she could hear gears churning from within the tall man. "Dad?"

With a grandeur wave of his hand, Membrane pulled down on his collar to reveal his mouth and pulled up his goggles to reveal his eyes. He seemed perfectly normal, until an eye popped from its socket, connected to a thick cable. Wires spewed from the mouth and Gaz screamed, horrified, turning and running face first into the steel plate that now covered the entrance to the tent. The chuckling Mem-bot approached the half unconscious girl, picking her up by her hair. She winced as she was pulled off of the ground until she was eye level with the maliciously grinning robot.

"Y-you're…you're not dad." She accused weakly, thick blood dripping down from the gash on her head. So much blood loss was making her dizzy, but she held on long enough to watch the eye slowly return to its socket and the wires recede back into his mouth until he looked almost normal. Heavy lids wouldn't cooperate with what she was telling them and they closed on their own accord.

Sadistically, Mem-bot shook Gaz unmercifully, who cried out in agony. "You're right. I'm not you're daddy dearest." Gaz opened her mouth to scream, but all came out was a pained whimper as Membrane clamped a metallic hand over her mouth. "I don't think so…" He was able to stifle her screams as he did the dirty deed. After it was done, his coat was splattered with crimson flecks. The newest data transferred itself to the computer quickly.

_Subject: Gaz_

_Status: …deceased_

"It's done." Dib's voice said from under Zim, who was seated comfortably upon his lap. "Do you think…it was painful?" He asked and winced from the question he had had the nerves to ask. In all actuality, he really didn't want to know, it was a rhetorical question, but he knew Zim would answer him anyway. It was confirmed by Zim's bright glow and happiness. To Dib, it seemed as if Zim glowed whenever he did something evil.

Eagerly Zim nodded. "If this data is correct, it was _excruciatingly_ painful. HAHAAaaa, I wish I could've seen the look on her face when she figured out that the Mem-bot wasn't her parental unit! Oh, wait, Mem-bot took pictures. I love that robot!" Pictures of a horrified and bloody Gaz appeared on the screen. Dib closed his eyes tightly, then sat up, pushing Zim's PAK against his chest. He had thought that he'd be disgusted by the sight of such horror and agony, but he was more apathetic to it.

The teen swallowed thickly. "That…looks so painful. I wonder if the knowledge that we were behind it made it even that much more horrible. I wonder if her life flashed before her eyes. I wonder…I wonder if she regretted ever doubting me." He knew he was rambling, knew that he probably sounded as crazy as everyone had told him he was. "And I wonder if…" He stopped.

Zim had stopped to listen to Dib's 'I wonder…'s, the boy's voice trailing off at the last one. Not knowing something would bother Zim so much. If you start saying something, you had better finish it, dang it. "Spit it out, you!" He said loudly into Dib's ear, making the boy flinch and curse without anger, only what seemed to apathy. "Dib Slave!" He yelled, and when Dib didn't answer or move much, he resorted to the familiar nicknames he'd given Dib over the years. "Dib Worm!!"

A strangled gasp arose from Dib's throat as he jumped in surprise. How long had it been since Zim had called him that? It felt familiar… "What is it, SCUM." Dib answered back with a smirk, then he grew oddly bright.

"What were you going to say and…why are you looking at Zim like that?" Zim shifted on the boy's lap so that he was facing his slave, so he could look into Dib's honey glazed eyes.

"What was I…going to say? What do you ever mean?" Dib said as leaned back into the cushy chair, the soft back pillowing around his torso. Long arms wound back behind his head, trying to look relaxed, contradicting what he really felt. Zim gave him 'the look' and he sighed, smiling at Zim. "It was nothing, really. Just an inane thought. Nothing but a speck in a sea of consciousness…" Dib blinked as Zim's face appeared directly in his line of vision.

"Hn. I think you're just a good liar, you know that." Zim scoffed unhappily. Boy, was that gonna bother him forever or what?

No comeback make its way to Dib's mind, so he just sat there, staring into Zim's ruby red eyes, until he thought of something. "So…now that the most important man in the world and the only one who knows we killed that man are dead, what now? Do we spread the disease now?" He pointed a thumb in the general direction of the table that the 'disease' was set on. It wasn't much of a disease, more of a poison, but it would be spread like a disease. The perfect plan! As the Mem-bot was working, the two had decided to actually do something instead of makeout, so they made a box full of their special concoction.

Surprised by the sudden outburst after such a long (it was only a few seconds, sheesh) silence, he only blinked at the question. "OH, uh…" Not wanting to admit he had no idea what so ever, he decided to make something up. Grab something from midair, if you will. Take a shot in the dark, even. "The Mem-bot…yeah, yeah, that's it. The Mem-bot will come back here, pick up some of the…whatever that stuff is…and, ya know…do something with it."

No emotion was evident on Dib's face as Zim finished with his idea. Then, a mocking smile formed its way up onto Dib's face. "You're just pulling that from your ass right now, aren't cha?"

"AM NOT! I worked really hard on that." Zim cried, narrowing his eyes.

"Yeah, for a few seconds maybe." The boy scoffed none to nicely at the alien, but it was all in good fun. "Just admit it. You had no idea what you were talking about. You were just stringing words together to make sentences."

"Well then, if that's how you feel about my plan, how about you give it a shot."

"Well, maybe I will." Dib said childishly, crossing his arms.

Not to be outdone, Zim mimicked Dib's actions and said, "Maybe you should."

Too bad Dib had already made up a plan, just in case. "Okay, I will. If my plan is better you have to wear that French maid outfit for one day." Finally, he'd be able to see Zim in that sexy outfit… He unconsciously began to drool while Zim blushed, sputtering.

The odd blush that had crept onto Zim's cheeks were too cute and Dib pinched them. Zim swatted the hands away angrily. "Irk no!"

"I see. We'll just go with your lame plan then…"

Zim frowned at the look Dib was giving him. It was the pathetically hopeless look, too. "Alright! Do your worst."

Brightening up considerably, Dib straightened up and Zim fell face first into the human's chest. "Fine. I say we use the Mem-bot as a…well, as a 'right of way' to get into the labs my dad works, oops, I mean _worked_, at. I'm Membrane's son, so they won't question it, especially if _the_ Membrane is there." Dib smirked haughtily. His plan was fool proof.

But Zim didn't think so. "What? Why couldn't we just sit here and relax while the Mem-bot does all the dirty work! Your plan is stupid! And so is your huge head." Zim poked furiously at Dib's head with a clawed Irken finger.

A whine came from Dib as he grabbed the hand and held it tight in his own. "Tell me, when would the famous professor Membrane get any privacy to do anything? The scientists, maybe even the media after that explosion, he'd never be able to do anything discretely and you _know_ I'm right."

Unable to argue with the logic Dib had placed out before him, he said nothing, but he did give up a pouty sort of glare. Oh, how he hated how that large cranium encased such a large, albeit stupid, brain. "You're horrible."

"Ah, yes. I know it." Dib chuckled under his breath and looked at the clock. "You're day starts right now, so you better get suited up. And since it's still so early, we should probably put our plan into motion."

"Ohhhh, no, no, no. I will NOT go out in that…that _maid_ outfit."

Dib sniffed and sniggered. "What are you scared of?" He taunted characteristically.

Horrified, Zim drew back as if he'd been slapped across the face. "NOTHING! Zim fears nothing. Zim shall take his defeat, though it's not really much of a defeat, like an Irken and wear that…disgustingly filthy outfit…that shows so much skin too…" Zim grimaced as he said the last part. How he hated to show skin, no one should be able to see his mighty Irken flesh!! No ONE! Not even his love slave.

"Really? A lot of skin, eh? Good…" Dib said eagerly, then tittered at Zim's slightly freaked expression. "I mean, good! Uhm, I think it's gonna be pretty warm out there tomorrow, heh, yeah…that must be what I meant…"

Unconvinced, Zim only narrowed an eye in suspicion and slid from the human's lap. "Uh-huh…get the vial, we're heading out."


	23. Chapter 22

"C'moooon!!" Dib yelled down the elevator. Zim was taking such a long time… He sighed as he heard Zim cursing at nothing in particular (yeah right, Dib) in Irken. By that time, he knew some Irken, but he had no idea what Zim was saying since he was talking to fast. "Dang…" MiniMoose floated nearby and landed on his head as if apologizing for his master's horrible manners. Dib giggled and reached up to pat the small moose robot, holding the vial of liquid in the other. He turned around and sat down next to GIR on the couch. "Pass the popcorn." He said and received the bowel.

When Zim arrived to the house level he found Dib shoveling the buttery exploded kernels in both his mouth and MiniMoose's mouth. GIR was throwing one kernel at a time up in Dib's general direction and Dib was wildly shifting to catch the suckers in his mouth to chew greedily. _Ugh, that's so wrong…_ Zim thought as he watched the flying popcorn in disgust. Dib's lips even looked buttery, no way was he putting his lips near those… With a dour expression, Zim 'ahem'ed to get Dib's attention.

Dib swiveled his head around and once he saw Zim, blushed. Zim blinked, fluffing the skirt just a bit nervously. Only a few seconds afterwards, GIR continued to chuck popcorn kernels at Dib's head, ruining the mood Dib had set, in hopes the human still wanted to play. MiniMoose munched on the popcorn that had landed snugly into Dib's ebony hair as Dib stood, rubbing the back of his neck uncertainly. Maybe it hadn't been that great of an idea as he'd thought. Zim looked so humiliated.

Zim's lips formed a thin line and he held an aerosol can up, squeezing the top to show how empty it was. "Let's go." He said briskly. "MiniMoose." The moose jumped to attention, floating away from Dib to hover in front of Zim curiously. "Disguise. Now." MiniMoose squeaked cutely and out popped a disguise. It was the one Zim had used last time with the maid outfit. Zim stared at the pig-tailed wig dumbly, then angrily growled as Dib giggled from behind his wrist.

"Go ahead. Put it on!" Dib twittered hopelessly. The alien picked the wig up and placed it over his antennae carefully. He reached out and placed his purplish grey lenses over his crimson eyes with care. The illusion was complete, well, as complete as it was gonna get. If it hadn't been for the green skin a lack of certain appendages, Zim would've been taken as a very pretty looking maid. But there seemed to be something missing… MiniMoose, GIR and Dib stared hard at Zim, who shrunk back under their gazes.

GIR and Dib tilted their heads while MiniMoose just floated around in circles. Finally, an idea slapped one of them across the face. GIR giggled suddenly, and insanely, then hopped from his seat to land right in front of Zim.

Both Zim and Dib watched GIR curiously. The robot hit his chest and out popped a black feather duster. "DUSTER!!" GIR screamed, holding out the black duster by its feathers. Zim took the handle weakly.

NOW the illusion was as complete as it would get. Dib snickered while GIR cooed about how cute his master was. MiniMoose had to agree by nudging Zim's cheek gently. A growl shut them up and Zim swatted MiniMoose away with the feather duster and motioned towards the doorway. "Let's. Go." He gritted his teeth and started for the door.

"OH! Right, sorry." Dib giggled, following after. As he exited the door, he noticed a helicopter landing only a few feet from the door and he gasped. "Holy ----!" He blinked. What looked like his dad hopped from the helicopter and stood in front of Zim. The man bowed deeply and Zim snickered, patting the man's elegant scythe in some sort of odd affection. It was then Dib realized that it must've been the Mem-Bot and he chuckled. "He looks just like my dad." Dib said in awe, stepping forward to get a better look as he warily eyed the turning blades of the copter.

Zim looked back and the Mem-Bot stood to full height, just a bit taller than Dib. "OF COURSE he looks just like your LATE father." The alien grunted, as if offended, then turned back around to look at the Membrane look-alike, who grinned down at him, eyes closed.

"Is there anything I can do for you, Master?" He asked.

The two breathing beings in the vicinity looked at each other and held back their shudders. That was too eerie for them. "Uh…YES! There is, actually I --"

"Ah! Anything, Master, just name it!" Mem-Bot said, too Membrane like for Dib, in a grand manner, striking a pose not to unlike the real Membrane's pose.

"Oh…" Dib muttered, feeling sick.

Zim rolled his eyes and tugged a pigtail in frustration. "Will you shut your noise box, Mem?" The alien looked at the eagerly silent robot, then told him their plan, even though he could have just inserted a disc into the robot's hard drive in the back, but that would have seemed too weird, even for Dib. It confused the robot at first, but he saved all of the data anyway as he received odd glances from the human.

"I see." The Mem-Bot said grandly, then turned and jumped into the helicopter and waited for them to get it. Zim used his spider legs and pulled himself up, holding out a hand for Dib to hoist himself up. Dib just stood there dumbly. MiniMoose and GIR lazily walked/floated outside to see what the hubbub was.

"SLAVE!" Zim snapped, wiggling his finger irritably. "Get up here so we can initiate our plan!"

Dib looked at the helicopter, then to Zim. "You want me to get into that thing?" His (ir)rational fear of heights was pulling at his subconscious mind. "You really are nuts. A robot can't…FLY that thing!"

"C'mon, Slave!" Dib heard a hearty voice call. Zim giggled gleefully at the sickened expression on Dib's face.

"You…didn't tell him to call me that, did you?" Dib asked, his voice wavering. While the two were talking, Mem-Bot helped his fellow robo-slaves into the copter happily, showing them which buttons were what and which did which.

Zim sighed, still holding out his arm, which was steadily becoming sore. "Of course not, big head. Mem knows how to fly a helicopter. I downloaded a learning program into him."

The boy (no, wait, teenager) looked up uneasily, but then took the other's hand, looking back to make sure the door to the base was closed. It was. Once in the copter, Zim explained to the robo Membrane that he should call Dib by his name. Mem didn't understand fully, but he acted like he did and that was good enough, gosh dang it! "Oh. I'm sorry, Dib." He apologized and when he didn't receive a reaction, he turned around to look at Dib. "Forgive me?"

Numbly, Dib nodded. "Yeah. You're forgiven." Satisfied, Mem turned around and pressed a few buttons, and toggled a few knobs. The knobs were his favorite.

Mem-Bot smiled in victory, itching to strike a pose, but he had to keep his hands on the controls and watch to make sure GIR and MiniMoose didn't get caught. They weren't supposed to be in the copter at all. He felt so naughty. "NO TOUCHING!!" He screamed, horrified, out of nowhere, swatting GIR's hand away from the self destruct button that was conveniently located just between Mem-Bot's legs, where GIR and MiniMoose were hiding under the console.

Zim and Dib blinked in surprise and looked at the Mem-Bot. "What on IRK was that?" Zim demanded.

If Mem-Bot could have sweated, he would have. "Uhh…nothing, Master, just, ah…" he trailed off. Nothing came to mind. "Nothing, I was doing absolutely nothing." he paused. He had been doing something. "Of importance." He paused again. It had actually been important. "To you." That wasn't right either, but his Master lost interest and began talking to the human slave again. He sighed in what could only be described as Relger. (Relief and anger. A new word I made up. Just now as I type this at 2:00 A.M.)

Angrily, Mem-Bot leaned down, still keeping his eyes on the road--eh the sky. "Don't touch anything." he hissed, he really didn't want to get into trouble. The thing he was most afraid of was being dismantled, even though the existence of both the defective robots at Zim's disposal disproved his fears.

"D'okaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!" GIR screamed and Mem-Bot, completely surprised, nose dived before edging back out. Mem-Bot sat rigidly as Zim loomed over his shoulder.

"What was that, Robot Slave." He demanded.

Mem-Bot was practically quaking in fear before he pointed, eager to get Zim's attention off of him and said. "Look! It's that place we're going!"

It worked, much to the robot's relief. Zim jumped back to talk to Dib, urgently going over the details of the plan. Mem-Bot stared down stonily and both GIR and MiniMoose smiled, not realizing either one of them were doing something wrong. "I hate you two." The Mem-Bot muttered under his breath (if he could breath, that is) and GIR giggled as MiniMoose squeaked. He landed.


End file.
